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@sueinmn

My daughter is fortunate to have her sister and me to assist with 2 little boys part of the time she while works from home, but it is still extremely hard. The 4 year old especially misses friends, going places and going to school. We avoid Covid conversations around the kids except to explain about germs, masks and safety in language they can get.

We try to have a flexible routine to each day - dress, eat, active play, snack, screen or learning time, lunch, quiet or nap, snack, active play, learning or reading, supper, active play, bath, read, cuddle, bed.

Ou best strategies to date are planning tiny adventures - as small as taking a ball and running around the now-unused high school baseball field, or taking a snack and sitting on the curb watching construction workers. On Friday night, weather permitting, they camp in the back yard with Mom and Dad. We play outside for hours in every kind of weather and take walks - activity seems to ease the frustration and whining.

We make a big deal of praising all good behavior, and use comforting, massage and cuddling for frustrated behavior instead of discipline. The boys will now bring each other their favorite "lovey" when they see one another sad or crying. (Real naughtiness still earns a timeout or loss of privilege - hitting, biting,etc.) And we make sure tired children rest and hungry ones eat - our body schedule is not necessarily theirs.

The 4 yo likes to be helpful, but isn't always sure how, so recently we're teaching him how to walk the dog, get him to heel & give the dog praise. Then we brag to Daddy how well he did when Daddy gets home.

My niece has a mix of kids from 1 -13, both home-and-public schooled plus a toddler. She invents bicycle errands for her older ones, and makes sure each boy gets personal time alone each day. She admitted that she has relaxed her schedule, no longer requiring schoolwork to be completed by 2 pm. My nephew was working 4 day weeks until recently, and 2-3 days were spent camping each week, with canoe & bikes. Finally, she has allowed the kids to connect with their friends through approved video games - previously very limited.

We don't call learning tasks school work (oldest is in pre-k) we call it projects, and he sits alongside an adult working on their own project while he does it, so he feels grown up and important. We also explore nature, rocks, plants, bugs, leaves, seeds, footprints... The younger, 19 months spends a lot of time worn on Mom or auntie's back - he's too heavy for me.

Several of my nieces are primary teachers and they say a kindergartener should have about one hour, no more of lessons in a day. Add 15-30 minutes for each grade level. Remember a lot of those 7-8 hours kids are gone are transportation, moving between activities, recess, snack, lunch etc. Attention span, even in most adults, is only about 20 minutes, so we cannot expect a child to sit and work independently for an hour or more.

The hardest thing to remember is that children are mirrors, and will reflect what they see & hear, so we need to be good models.

No doubt this is hard! We need to do everything we can to make it as peaceful as possible for our little people and their parents. If you cannot be with them, maybe you can provide their favorite casserole or a delivery or takeout meal so Mom doesn't have to think about supper.

Sue

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Replies to "My daughter is fortunate to have her sister and me to assist with 2 little boys..."

What a wonderful grandmother you are!