Nerve biopsy test: Is it done by a neurologist or rheumatologist?

@jesfactsmon Hank, the picture you sent of Linda's bed looked almost "rigged." Hard to explain, but I know she needs her bed, "just so." I do get this!!! And don't add insult to injury! Lori Renee

I 'm the same as Linda. It frustates my husband that I'm my cheerful self when talking to or visiting with everyone. I try to keep the focus on them. I don't want to be a downer or be perceived as complaining, which I am not. I' ve never felt I was a victim nor have I ever questioned God. You know that I trust Him in my circumstances completely.

You know that He is ever-present in my life and that I experience His comfort and His peace through Christ that surpasses all human understanding. Philippians 4:7.

This is what gets me through the unrelenting, all-consuming pain. I am deeply humbled, grateful and immeasurably blessed and know this life is but the blink of an eye in light of all eternity. So I have hope and assurance of what is to come.
"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Warmest regards and many prayers, Sunnyflower. 😊🙏

@sunnyflower Sunny, you know I love God also or at least I try to in my puny human way. But when you say "I' ve never felt I was a victim nor have I ever questioned God." I can't say that. I admire you for your staunchness of Faith. Remarkable! Hank

@jesfactsmon, @sunnyflower TOUCHE! I can be verryyyyy deceiving to others who are truly clueless about my disabilities. I wouldn't really have it any other way though. My elite crew (and that means you guys) plus my Drs. know the real deal and I'm good with that.

@sunnyflower, @jesfactsmon My husband's very words, "They have no idea...you seem normal to everyone else and they have no idea what really goes on." In other words, what he has to witness, deal with, endure is deceiving to others. The expression goes....you hurt the ones you love. Well, not intentionally of course but, the ones who are closest to you and live with you, share most in your misery, pain and commiseration. This never seemed quite right in my mind because they generally love you the most yet they get the shortest end of the stick. I suppose that is where vows come in. A sad situation overall and not one that any of us would ever choose. I try very hard to remember that my husband feels the most of my pain, he wants to fix me but cant, and that leaves him feeling frustrated, angry and burned out also. I do try to keep his feelings in perspective and show him love and affection as best I can. He deserves more than anyone else in my life.

@rwinney, @sunnyflower
It's not a picnic for either spouse. But you and Sunny and Linda, et.al. have it the roughest, no question. Me, your's and Sunny's husbands would agree with me I am sure of it. Hank

Hank, I can't take any credit for that bc even our faith is a gift from God: Ephesians 2:8 "For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith--and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God--" The more I study God's word, the more my faith increases just like the bible says it will in Romans 10:17: "faith comes from hearing, and hearing by the word of Christ."

Hope you and Linda are doing well and that you have a great Labor Day. Warmest regards, Sunnyflower

@rwinney I try not to dump on my wife, Marilyn. She made a negative remark about how I'm so focused on my pain, so a few years ago I made a promise to myself (never told her) not to say anything to her about my pain for one year. I kept the promise, and still haven't told her about it, and I don't think she noticed.

The last few nights I've been in tears - well, as close to tears as I get - with the pain level in my feet and ankles 9 or 10. I don't often say anything, but I think it would be hard to miss, with me trying to find a position that hurts less for a few minutes. Hard to do most of the time.

Depression can be hard to hide, but I'm pretty much unemotional, neither happy nor sad. That's pretty much been true all my life, and sometimes it's a good thing, sometimes not so good. I don't think anyone at church knows about my mental health except for two of the pastors. But then people have to wonder why I have a service dog. Sadie is always with me, including at church. Church is the only place that can legally refuse access to a service animal, and when I requested permission, the pastor didn't hesitate to allow her. That was a big factor in finding a church home. It told me a lot about the ministry ethics of the church.

Marilyn has her own pain issues, most recently bursitis in her hip. A cortisone shot a few weeks ago really helped. No cortisone shot for pn. Don't we wish. She understands pain, but I don't know if she really gets it all the time. I hate being a burden on her.

Today when we got home from church, I did yard work. I picked around 3 quarts of beans, some tomatoes, 6 cucumbers, a pattie pan squash, enough little potatoes for stir fry for supper and one tomato worm - nasty things. They've only been on one plant. I think I need to check out the plants more carefully when I buy them.

After I did the dishes, I headed for the recliner, and as soon as I sat, the pain shot up from 4 or 5 to 8. I wish I knew why sitting, lying down and standing still hurt so much more. I'm hoping for some relief from spinal stenosis surgery in 19 days. I'm having to hustle to get things in place before surgery. It would be nice if we don't have frost until the first of October.

Well, time for bed. At least taking my full dose of morphine at bedtime seems to help a little.

Jim, I 'm really feeling badly about what you're going through. Sounds very tough. Please know that I will be upholding you in prayer asking the Lord to guide your doctor's hands, for the surgery to be seamless, without complications, for a speedy recovery and success resolving your pain. I will also be praying that you have God's comfort and the His peace through Christ that surpasses all human understanding Philippians 4:7. Hopefully you and Marilyn can talk about how you are feeling about things and that you you both can be a safe place to fall for one another. All the best to you Jim, warmest regards, Sunnyflower

@jimhd Hey Jim. I hear you loud and clear. It's 3:40 am and I'm up in back and shoulder pain. I was so pleased to have received enough help from marijuana earlier that I went to bed with out my 4th hydrocodone. That means no hydro since 2:30 pm. I write down every pill I take. I was ticked pink for that to happen as anytime I can go without, pleases me. I seem to typically share my good news with my husband and he gives me a verbal pat on the back. The other night, as I sat next to him and watched a movie, pain was swirling throughout my legs...muscle tighhtening and nerve pain. To the point of rubbing them, moving them in various positions to attempt to find comfort.Up and down and all around. I made some tiny whimpering noises ( I say tiny cause I'm no drama queen!). I was up, I was down. Then the brightness from the TV screen ran my eyes into the ground. I pushed watching until I just couldn't take it anymore. My husband did not say one word., not one touch.

Anyhow, I will ever only indirectly ask for sympathy if my psychological state is fragile and I know I need reassurance. It would have been so comforting to me if my husband said one empathetic word in that moment. I dont need a big gush of emotion. Maybe just, I see your suffering and I'm sorry. His way is to say, can I get you ice or heat? I mean, it's something I suppose. My hope is that when I'm at Mayo Pain Rehab in October, he benefits from the spousal sessions. It's not easy on him and I know he bares my pain too, just in a different way.

My son, (and Sunny, this is for you too) seems to never want to ask how I'm feeling or doing? He's 27 now and on his own. He seems to only want to bring me distraction and if I go there with reality, he seems quite uncomfortable and wants to redirect me. Pretty sure it's hard for him to see Mom this way now, and having issues since age 43. My boy loves me and I have no doubt about that.

Last January, I was very emotionally delicate and let my husband know I needed more support from he and the kids. Maybe that was wrong, I felt a little weak in asking. I also felt like things were bad enough so that if I asked, they damn well knew I wasnt very stable. It takes a lot for me to ask and they know it. Anyhow, my husband, Kevin. spoke to the kids and told them, Mom needs more support from you. They were great and gave it too me with text messages and phone calls asking me how I was doing, finally My daughter, 18, actually sent flowers from college! My son was there with his voice to comfort.

So yes, Jim and Sunny, ask when you really need to ask. It's ok. Even though our pain is ongoing, they cant hang, and we wouldn't want them to. I feel they take pleasure in knowing distraction is the best medicine for us and hearing the words that we are in so much pain, hurts them deeply. That's hard to take when you see your hero, your mentor, your partner, your spouse struggling.

I grew up since age 8 with a Mom who lived in chronic pain. I'm sure I dropped the ball with her plenty of times over the years by not giving her what she needed. Although I've been with her every step of the way through setting her baths up when I was a little girl and fetching her things when she couldn't walk to being at every single surgery over 42 years. I grew up understanding more about pain than most kids. Now, I come to a whole new understanding as I walk in pain's shoes also. My mom never once asked for emotional help from me. She sucked up everything and I didn't know how. There are 2 different examples.

I'm forced to think of the late incredible actor Chadwick Bowsman who lost his battle with colon cancer at such a young age. He was publically silent about his struggles and battles. Heroic? I think so.

Jim, I got on a roll, sorry. Back to why I think you have more pain when sitting....2 things: 1. I believe, for me, that sitting places direct pressure on the nerves and 2. once sitting, the body refocuses, the movement and activity and distraction stops. The brain slows down and feels more. I'm no dr. that's for sure!

I know you are feeling anxiety over your upcoming surgery and I want you to know I will be rooting for you in a BIG way buddy! I hope so much that it will bring you well deserved relief. ❤ We, here on Connect, got your back Jim!!

My best,
Rachel