Cancer Survivor Guilt: What can I do to cope better?

What a blessing to have survived this particular cancer. Currently I am in a not too common remission for Myeloma. I consider myself so fortunate that I don’t gravitate towards the why me thinking. Instead I focus on considering how much hope I can offer others fighting this battle. If you need an answer to, “Why me?” then perhaps you have gifts of communication, or evangelism, or personal qualities that open up others to the possibility of success in their fight. You may not easily change direction of thought, but when we focus on others it is impossible for our brain to focus on ourselves at the same time. I hope you can get to a place where you can enjoy the new life you have no matter HOW it happened. The why may not even exist. Will you please check back in down the road when you have had time to readjust your thinking on this? Peace, Nancy

@1nan Thanks for your post. I should have made a more complete response. This is a discussion about feeling guilty about surviving cancer. My response was written to indicate that those feelings are real. I have had such feelings. I fully understand how others can have those feelings. What I didn't say is that I don't dwell on those feelings. I am a 6 year survivor of pancreatic cancer. Last December I was told that my cancer has come back. I am expecting some very trying times in the coming months. But I view every day of life as a gift from God. I do have physical limitations due to my various medical conditions (cancer, diabetes and kidney failure). But I do everything in my power to enjoy spending time with my family and friends and enjoying the beauty of God's creation that surrounds me. God has given me his peace and he will give me the strength I need to face an uncertain future. I will continue to celebrate every day of life that I am given

@1nan Hi, Nan. Thanks for asking about me. It was last February that I had a PET/MRI scan and an EUS biopsy at Mayo to confirm that my pancreatic cancer has indeed returned. Typical treatment would have been radiation and chemo. Because of my kidney problems, it was decided to do only radiation. After 25 rounds of radiation, I ended up with an E. coli blood infection and did 15 rounds of IV antibiotics. Last July, I returned to Mayo for another PET/MRI. That scan showed that the tumors and lymph nodes had increased in size. I was told that it could be a result of the radiation. I have been getting monthly CA 19-9 tests. Those tests have indicated that things are remaining stable at this time. I have to go back to Rochester in a month for another scan. If the tumors are not growing there will be no treatment other than periodic scans to see how things are going. If the tumors are growing, I will have to have chemo. Because of my kidney problems, I will have to have dialysis 1 hour after each chemo treatment. So we are waiting to see what the next scans show. Meanwhile, my wife and I spent the last 2 weeks camping by a lake. I was able to play disc golf, ride my bake, walk the dog and go swimming with my wife. Also got to spend a couple of days with our daughter and her husband and the grand kids. The weather was beautiful. We got home just in time because there are frost warnings issued for tonight. I won't say I don't have emotional lows and highs, but all in all, I am enjoying life. I am a member of a Facebook group called Whipple Warrior Survivors. There have been several posts recently by others who have had recurrences of pancreatic cancer and are fighting the cancer and enjoying life. Posts like that give me lots of encouragement and the will to take things head on no matter what the future holds.

@1nan Hi, Nan. Thanks for asking about me. It was last February that I had a PET/MRI scan and an EUS biopsy at Mayo to confirm that my pancreatic cancer has indeed returned. Typical treatment would have been radiation and chemo. Because of my kidney problems, it was decided to do only radiation. After 25 rounds of radiation, I ended up with an E. coli blood infection and did 15 rounds of IV antibiotics. Last July, I returned to Mayo for another PET/MRI. That scan showed that the tumors and lymph nodes had increased in size. I was told that it could be a result of the radiation. I have been getting monthly CA 19-9 tests. Those tests have indicated that things are remaining stable at this time. I have to go back to Rochester in a month for another scan. If the tumors are not growing there will be no treatment other than periodic scans to see how things are going. If the tumors are growing, I will have to have chemo. Because of my kidney problems, I will have to have dialysis 1 hour after each chemo treatment. So we are waiting to see what the next scans show. Meanwhile, my wife and I spent the last 2 weeks camping by a lake. I was able to play disc golf, ride my bake, walk the dog and go swimming with my wife. Also got to spend a couple of days with our daughter and her husband and the grand kids. The weather was beautiful. We got home just in time because there are frost warnings issued for tonight. I won't say I don't have emotional lows and highs, but all in all, I am enjoying life. I am a member of a Facebook group called Whipple Warrior Survivors. There have been several posts recently by others who have had recurrences of pancreatic cancer and are fighting the cancer and enjoying life. Posts like that give me lots of encouragement and the will to take things head on no matter what the future holds.

Has anyone had Acute Promyelocytic Leukemia