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How to have relationships while living with depression?
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Sep 16, 2021 | Replies (104)Comment receiving replies
@grandmaraines As I read your post I could get the sense of your love for your husband, your care and your wanting to help him. I have been diagnosed as being bipolar which took many years to determine, but the heaviness of depression is unrelenting. I, too, have tried many medications that didn't work or made me a "zombie", ECT, been hospitalized, talk therapy, etc.
For me progress was minimal like lying in bed to lying on living room couch. It zaps the life out of the body both energy and the loss of joy. Science explains depression as a chemical inbalance in brain but is unique for each person and why there's no one remedy or cure.
Have been in a relationship where both of us were depressed and thought at least he understands but that didn't help us. As women we want to help and fix it, but difficult to do when the other person feels helpless/hopeless. The more I did the less he did and I noticed myself resenting him for not trying to do something, anything. So I had to break off the relationship to keep the friendship.
Does your husband have a therapist? Group therapy? Art therapy? Does he have friends that can visit him?
I don't have a miracle answer, but am here if I can be of help. Blessings and prayers are sent to both of you.
Replies to "@grandmaraines As I read your post I could get the sense of your love for your..."
Thank you for your reply. My husband tried going to an individual therapist who gave him strategies, met once more and felt it was all silly and useless to keep a journal or follow a weekly plan. He used to enjoy hinting and dud model trains as a hobby. He just gave all his guns to his son and gave up hobby years He has a psychiatrist who just asks how the meds are, suggests alternate ones to try, prescribed and checks in once every couple months .He is useless. In our area absolutely no one is accepting new patients. We have our church but fellowshipping is minimL due to Covid. All his peers who he called close friends are moved or passed away. We live in the country with no near neighbors and our church friends are almost 1 hr away. No one drives out here to visit. Our son is also over an hr away, who wants to help, but my husband won't discuss any of this with him (he is mortified- I have shared my heartache and what is happening with family, but I can't keep burdening them) and our son has a young family, busy with his own life. When we do see them it is usually with a group or special days like this last Father's day, so we do not mar the occasion with depression talk. My husband just tries really hard to not be a sad downer but he also is pretty silent whole time in a get together. No, I truly am alone in helping him.
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@marjou From what I understand from your message is that you are Bipolar 1? Mental illness runs in our family and my mom committed suicide at age 69. My son is the one fighting the devil now. He has his PHD, but can't teach, because of his Bipolar 1. His wife also has her PHD and is very successful. I do fill that she is controlling and controlling our son and granddaughter, we have no contacts with them. I am depressive and anxiety, my daughter the same, plus other factors like being very over weight. Most of other family members have some type of mental illness. It is very inherited. I just got home 2 weeks ago from a 9 hour fusion back surgery from T-10 to my pelvis. Had Pinched nerves plus other problems. I am still recovering and it takes time. Blessings and Prayers are sent your way.