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@claireb

Update: After our virtual visit with the oncologist at the U of M last week, my husband made the decision to not proceed with therapy. The oncologist we spoke with was incredibly knowledgable, kind, and patient as she addressed our questions and concerns. She laid out all the options without sugar-coating anything. It was a difficult decision for my husband, but one that I expected from him. He said the discomfort of therapy and the weeks of isolation from family would kill him.
He started receiving hospice care at home on June 20, two days after his 74th birthday. Our two out-of-state daughters came "home" to be with us and will be here for the duration. We are so lucky to have them in our lives. He is able to have ongoing FaceTime visits with our grandchildren. One of our daughters said the silver lining in all of this is that we have time to reminisce and say good-bye. We are making the best of the remaining days/weeks of his life. Thanks to all of you for your support.

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Replies to "Update: After our virtual visit with the oncologist at the U of M last week, my..."

@claireb, I echo what @grandpabob and @loribmt said. While you may accept your husband’s decision and support him, it doesn’t mean you have to like it. My father made the same decision, which we all supported. My mom still cherishes the special moments that the clarity of the decision allowed them to have. At the same time, she appreciated being able to voice with me that she experienced an array of emotions and needed to be able to talk about those feelings with others. If you’re ever feeling things like “I’m not ready for this” or “this isn’t what I want” or anything else that no one can predict, know that you can talk about it here – without judgement.