Mom diagnosed with Lung Cancer. Need advice on helping her to eat

Posted by Karyn @kj9, Jun 10, 2020

Hi, I'm pretty new to this group but I've seen the support and help you all give each other and I think it's great. I"m writing today because my mother was diagnosed with lung cancer. We are being seen by an oncologist and receiving treatment. Where my sister and I need help is with getting her to eat. to make a long story short, my mother was doing okay until recently when the docs found an arrhythmia and prescribed a blood thinner. Well my mother ate her self up with worry about taking the medicine. She worried so much and she lost a lot of weight. Having lung cancer and losing weight is not a good combination and my problem now is she only eats about 700-900 calories a day. Not enough to gain any weight and certainly not enough sustain yourself. She has always been a petite person but now she is so thin, my sister and are afraid. She doesn't have enough energy to do anything, she's constantly so tired. we try to tell her it's because of lack of nutrition. My sister and I are trying everything to get her to eat enough food in a day. My question is, has anyone experienced this? or have loved one who has gone through this? do you have any suggestions on how to get them eat? open their appetites? what kinds of food might work? I appreciate any thoughts and ideas. My sister and I are at out of our minds with worry. Thank you in advance for your support.

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@1nan

If you try making the drinks into “ice cream “, topping with a small amount of her favorite sundae toppings might help the cause.

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@becsbuddy, thank you for the suggestion. I appreciate it. she does like ice cream .

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@merpreb

@kj9- It sounds like SBRT. I've had that twice and it has worked both times. But I didn't have chemo after. What type of lung cancer does your mom have?

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Oh yes, I think it was SBRT. That sounds familiar. she has non small cell....

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@shortshot80

Hello my name is shortshot/nancy. I am 88 years old and have two kinks of lung cancer diagnosed January 2016. I have Mesothelioma in my left lung and small cell carcinoma in my right lung. There has been a my red of medications, chemo, immune therapy, radiation and Emotions that has occurred over the past four years. Emotions change the way I eat, when I eat and what i eat. i too have lost weight but i'm holding steady for the time being. You can't worry about your mother, what is happening with her will take its toll whether you worry or not. Please be kind and listen to her. Don't suggest anything that does not help. I have four children, three boys and one girl. my daughter is the youngest and is taking care of my finances but at times she is not kind. Nancy

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Nancy, thankyou so much for your note. I want to applaud your for staying strong and pushing through all that you are dealing with. I'm so sorry your daughter is not being nice to you. Is she angry about situation? can you talk to your sons and maybe one of them can speak with your daughter to let her know how you are feeling?

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@becsbuddy

@kj9. No, megace is not a bad thing . We used it frequently in the hospital

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what are the side affects? My mother was reading something and now is more scared of the side affects than not eating.

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@becsbuddy

@kj9. I found this article that might be helpful. It’s on nutrition during cancer care.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cancer/in-depth/cancer/art-20045046
Also the American Cancer Society has very good information
https://www.cancer.org/treatment/treatments-and-side-effects/physical-side-effects/eating-problems/poor-appetite.html

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thank you. I called the ACS, they gave me more National resources links to look up. I just got overwhelmed at the time, but I will look them up. and thank you for the link to the article on the Mayoclinic site, I found that very helpful and informative.

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@kj9

Oh yes, I think it was SBRT. That sounds familiar. she has non small cell....

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SBRT is used for NSCLC. Do you know what stage she was? It's important to know her stage of cancer and the names of her treatments, etc.so you can help explain things to her if she doesn't understand. There is a lot of information in this group about her cancer. I'm afraid that if I attach a link right now I'll lose this post to you. I will be more than willing to "talk" with your mom if she wants. Is she getting up and bathing and taking care of other self personal things?

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We have all of the information written down. She understands, she's very aware and alert. when she's not overly tired,yes, she takes a bath and she washes up every night, etc.
Thank you for offering to 'talk' with Mom, I"m going to set her up on this platform sometime over the weekend. I have not done that yet, but thankyou so much. I think talking with someone other than my sister and me, would benefit my mother greatly! When I set her up, I'll be sure the first note out references that she is my mom. or do you suggest another way to for you to 'talk' with mom? thank you so much

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@kj9

We have all of the information written down. She understands, she's very aware and alert. when she's not overly tired,yes, she takes a bath and she washes up every night, etc.
Thank you for offering to 'talk' with Mom, I"m going to set her up on this platform sometime over the weekend. I have not done that yet, but thankyou so much. I think talking with someone other than my sister and me, would benefit my mother greatly! When I set her up, I'll be sure the first note out references that she is my mom. or do you suggest another way to for you to 'talk' with mom? thank you so much

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She can make the first post in response to my offering to help her. You are more than welcome.

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@kj9

what are the side affects? My mother was reading something and now is more scared of the side affects than not eating.

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@kj9. You mentioned side effects-all medications have side effects, from very common to very rare. The drug manufacturers must list them even if only 1 person was ever affected. Most doctors are very cautious, especially when dealing with older people. What has your mom’s doctor said about side effects?

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@kj9

Nancy, thankyou so much for your note. I want to applaud your for staying strong and pushing through all that you are dealing with. I'm so sorry your daughter is not being nice to you. Is she angry about situation? can you talk to your sons and maybe one of them can speak with your daughter to let her know how you are feeling?

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Hi, my daughter is different, she has been helping with the finances (pay our bills and such) for at least 10 years. Sometimes she thinks that i should not to this or that but i do it if i want and that just sometimes strain the conversations. For the morst part thouugh she is amiable. one thing bothers her, she looks like me and she has not liked it since she was 14. she hates comments "of oh you look like your mom. hopefully she will get over it before i pass on. if not oh well! shortshot9nancy

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