Reply to @clutch
Thank you for sharing your experience.
I've suffered from major depressive disorder and anxiety almost my entire life, and at 75 find myself resigned. Tried several antidepressants, all which had horrid effects that I just did not want to deal with: night terrors, hallucinations and visual disturbances. For example: not fun seeing huge black spider crawling up the wall, across the ceiling and drop down right in front of my face!); seeing what seemed like millions of tiny, multi-legged black insects crawling all over me and my covers; seeing an opening in the wall above my bed and little people poke their heads out. Night terrors: whooshing sounds by my ears followed by floating "presence" in my bedroom wanting to harm me; feeling my bed move as something/someone pressed down on the mattress. And one medication in particular made my brain feel like it was about to implode, along with deep sensitive of impending death, followed by one of my worst migraine episodes. No way I wanted any of that!
So I asked a medical professional to devise a plan so that I could stop taking the last antidepressant which I was on and was not working, Serzone (the generic for Zoloft). It was hell but over a period of almost 8 months, I was down to just a tincture. Had to have the tincture and be weaned off that because I was having heavy-head feeling and "air sounds" in my ears. Irritability and feeling out of sorts also. I was off that finally but still felt unwell for nearly a year afterwards (ruined my ability to focus and enjoy our younger daughter's wedding, something that I'm upset about to this day and it was nearly twelve years ago). So I take NOTHING. Life is definitely difficult, coupled with all the pain problems that I have, but I just cannot take any more chances with any antidepressants. Uh-uh!
So I was so excited when I learned about the TMS procedure! And my insurance would cover it in full! HOWEVER -- I was not eligible for the procedure because I have a history of brain lesions....

Now that I've read how it has not really helped via the postings here on this site, I'm glad that I did not undergo the treatment. I'll continue dealing with the devil that I know as opposed to what I may have to deal with resulting from any medication. . Presently doing therapy via zoom, and while it does help to have someone to talk to, I can't say that it's helping much.
I take one day at a time.
I wish you days with hope and joy.🌺