I wonder if writing it down is enough to make a woman see how she is being made smaller. It’s one step. Talking to a trained therapist or a wise friend is more help. She has to believe that she is an equal,even if she has less education or experience or if she is doing menial work while her partner does money-earning work. I have been married to two college professors;even though I was a high School teacher and a Harvard graduate, I felt I had to be pretty and clever and cope with all the entertaining responsibilities and housework.Eventually I had two daughters and they were my responsibility too. I taught them to be self-sustaining while I continued to feel like a shrimp in the salad! Now, with them grown and performing well and being themselves in spite of raising children(but with supportive husbands whose help they demand), I am feeling whole with my second husband. It took realizing how I was feeling and letting it go because we are in retirement together! Yes, together! He tells me what he wants and I do the same. Neither of us is trying to prove something to anybody. We have friends we share. We do things we agree on. If one doesn’t want to.do it,the other finds a friend. This is learning from life experience, and Dorisena you are a wise woman. I get a lot out of your posts. In a way this pandemic has made us all slow down,take stock of what we have and appreciation the basic things, rather than running around to acquire thing and keep up. It is a period of wisdom for the universe.

Jump to this post