So sad: Husband has glioma and I feel he is fading away

Posted by rosez @rosez, May 9, 2020

My husband has a grade 2 glioma and I feel as if he is fading away. He mixes up words and is very quiet. He just finished his first week of chemo and radiation.

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Erika | @erikas | Oct 14, 2020

In reply to @rosez "Therapist and 2 sisters. My children cannot be here bacause of the virus" + (show)

@rosez my condolences on your loses. I am glad that you have supports at a time like this.

rosez | @rosez | Oct 23, 2020

In reply to @IndianaScott "Hello @rosez Good to hear from you again here! I might imagine your husband is relieved..." + (show)

@IndianaScott

Hello @rosez Good to hear from you again here! I might imagine your husband is relieved to be done with his most recent radiation and chemo regimen.

Your post helped me recall the tough times in life when my wife would say to me 'this isn't what I expected from life'. I would remind her of a phone conversation she and I had in the early days of our courtship. She was in one city while I was hundreds of miles away in another. We were on the phone, late at night (remember waiting until after 11:00 pm so long distance was the cheapest?), talking about the future when she said to me 'you know, Scott, neither of us knows what the future will hold nor how easy or hard it might be. I know we don't have much of anything right now, but I know I'd rather struggle with you than without you'. I told her I absolutely agreed!

That sentiment never changed for us. I always remembered those words -- that we’d rather struggle together than struggle apart. After we married our life held more than a share of little struggles, significant struggles, and then the monumental struggle of her years with brain cancer. As partners there were struggles where she shouldered the majority of the load, then other times when I did. In each of those times we’d remind each other of that old phone call.

From the day I met my future wife nothing was ever what I had thought it would be. At first I didn’t even think we’d ever marry since we were both engaged at the time, just not to each other. 🙂 I guess I’m trying to say none of us ever know the twists and turns our lives will take or where our paths will lead. Certainly times of caregiving are a prime example of this! I never expected to be my wife’s caregiver at 49 nor did she expect to have to battle for her life as she did.

Wishing I had some magic words to soothe your way, but at least I can send strength, courage, and peace

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I have been gone for awhile. It seems life doesn't always get better. My husband still has brain cancer and now our 39 year old daughter passed away last week from cancer. She is leaving behind 2 3 1/2 year old twin girls. Because of covid we have not seen her since January. My heart is broken in soooooo many pieces.

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Oct 23, 2020

In reply to @rosez "I have been gone for awhile. It seems life doesn't always get better. My husband still..." + (show)

I am so sorry for your losses, @rosez. How is your husband doing now? Any changes to his current functioning?

rosez | @rosez | Oct 23, 2020

In reply to @hopeful33250 "I am so sorry for your losses, @rosez. How is your husband doing now? Any changes..." + (show)

His speech is slightly improved but I still need to be around. He is very depressed about our daughter's passing. His mom died at 42, his dad at 53. His sister had breast cancer and he had a brain tumor. It is more than he can carry and doesn't like the fact that I have to do the driving. Our lives are a mess.

Teresa, Volunteer Mentor | @hopeful33250 | Oct 23, 2020

In reply to @rosez "His speech is slightly improved but I still need to be around. He is very depressed..." + (show)

I would hope that you and your husband are considering some outside help for driving and other caregiving chores, @rosez. You are both dealing with grief and health problems. To acquire some outside help would be a very good thing for you both.

otis123 | @otis123 | Oct 24, 2020

I wish I lived closer so that I could give you both a Hug and help you in any way you need. We are so sorry for the loss of your daughter. The saddest part of this Covid virus is keeping loved ones apart when they truly need each other. We will keep you both in our prayers. They say God doesn't give us any more than we can handle. He is certainly pushing you to the limit. Stay strong and take one day at a time.

rosez | @rosez | Oct 24, 2020

Thank you for your words of comfort.

FWW | @fwentz | Oct 24, 2020

My sister is now in hospice care and is expected to pass away within a matter of days. I found the following prayer and it has given me some comfort. I hope that it might give you and your husband some comfort too with the loss of your daughter.

I commend you, my dear sister, to almighty God, and entrust you to your Creator
May you return to him who formed you from the dust of the earth.
May holy Mary, the angels, and all the saints come to meet you as you go forth from this life.
May Christ who was crucified for you bring you freedom and peace.
May Christ, the true Shepherd, acknowledge you as one of his flock.
May He forgive all your sins, and set you among those He has chosen.
May you see your Redeemer face to face, and enjoy the vision of God forever.
Amen.

Amanda Roe | @amandajro | Oct 24, 2020

Hi @fwentz. I am so sorry to hear about your sister. Losing a loved one carries so much pain and sorrow.

Are you able to be with her at all?

FWW | @fwentz | Oct 25, 2020

In reply to @amandajro "Hi @fwentz. I am so sorry to hear about your sister. Losing a loved one carries..." + (show)

Thank you, Amanda, for your kind words. No, we live far apart and at age 81 I'm reluctant to travel there because of COVID. Fortunately though her children live nearby. She was living in a nursing home where they were not able to visit her. She became quite ill and was taken to the hospital. When it became clear she needed hospice care, my niece was able to move her to her place where the children are able to be with her 24/7 by trading shifts. I'm grateful for that. I'm also glad that I was able to travel cross country last September and had a good visit with her and my niece.

And my good thoughts go to @rosez and her husband in their grief.