So sad: Husband has glioma and I feel he is fading away

My husband has finished his chemo and radiation.He is now on chemo for 5 days and off for 23, blood tests every two weeks and MRI every two months.
His tumor has not spread but his speech and steadiness are greatly impaired. The doctors have ordered one month of speech and physical therapy. If that does not work, they are going to send him to a neurologist. I feel that this may be our new norm. We cannot have a conversation as he does not understand or remember anything. His hands shake and he is very unsteady.

Hello @rosez Sorry to read of your husband's continued decline. Chronic illness is such a difficult thing to manage with its almost daily changes and a caregiver's constant monitoring for any alteration in our loved one! All the changes are so hard to witness!

I remember when our lives revolved around the medical calendar of when the next test, MRI, etc. was. I am hoping for the best outcomes possible for your husband as he continues his chemo.

Strength, courage, and peace

Thank you

I thought things couldn't get much worse but just found out that my 39 year old daughter has lymphoma. I feel like I can't take anymore and cry constantly. I have no patience with my husband and feel he is not trying his hardest. We also lost our primary doctor and my husband has been refused 2 doctor appointments because of his temperature caused by the heat. Help

Hi @rosez, oh dear. I can understand that you must feel like you just want the world to stop spinning so you can get off of it for a moment. You're being asked to bear a lot right now. What type of lymphoma has your daughter been diagnosed with? Do they know yet? I will connect you with others.

The body is a remarkable thing. It regulates our internal body temperature even when it is hot (or cold) outside. Typically hot weather does not increase a temperature reading. Are you sure that it was the heat that raised your husband's temperature or might he have a light fever? Were the doctor appointments with a potential new PCP?

It is hard to find the patience, especially when all the focus is on the patient. What do you feel that your husband could be trying harder with?

You're not alone, Rose. I'm here. I'm listening without judgement. It's a safe space to say how you feel.

Hello @rosez,

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter's Lymphoma diagnosis. I can certainly understand your feeling of being overwhelmed.

How is your daughter handling this new diagnosis? Is she feeling confident regarding her medical team and future treatment?

Regarding your husband, I can understand your frustration as you perceive that "he is not trying his hardest." It is difficult when we want someone to do everything that they can and they seem to be at a stalemate. Sometimes chronic illnesses cause some people to surrender to their situation rather than take in on and try their best to overcome. Do you think that is where your husband might be right now?

Thoughts and prayers go with you at this time. The caregiving role is a very difficult one, @rosez, don't forget that. You appear to be very dedicated to this task but it does take a lot to "keep on keeping on." Try not to forget that your husband, at some level, realizes all you are doing to help him and he undoubtedly appreciates your caring and concern even if he is not able to express it right now.

Post again, and let me know how you are doing and please take care of yourself during this time. Try and do something for yourself that can be a distraction from the concerns you have. I look forward to hearing from you again.

My daughter is so sad because she has 2. 31/2 year old girls. She does have faith in her doctors and wishes we could be together. I am on the east coast and she is on the west. This virus is and my husband's cancer is keeping us apart.

Her diagnosis won't be complete until this week but is definitely lymphoma
It is normal for our temperature to go up here because of the. Usually if we sit in a cool place it goes down.
My husband doesn't want to walk and gives up too easily

Hello @rosez,

You have a loving, caring family. Your daughter's concern for her girls is natural. When you find out the type of lymphoma she has you might want to follow discussions about lymphoma on Connect. Here is a link to Connect's discussion about blood cancers, https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/blood-cancers-disorders/.

You might also consider having your daughter join Connect so that she can get some support for this new diagnosis. There is a lot of treatment for lymphoma now and many on Connect have discussed their successful treatments.

Could it be that your husband is depressed? Have you ever talked with his doctor about trying an anti-depressant med? It might be helpful for your doctor to think about it with you.

@rosez Hi Rose, I’m so sorry about your new worry about your daughter and being so far away. I have a daughter same age and she lives in Sweden- alone- with 2 young children. It is difficult when this virus prevents us from traveling to be with our children when they need us. I hope your daughter gets the best care and that she will respond to treatment.
I agree that your husband sounds depressed, I fully understand that.
A thought about fever- the hot weather itself does not raise the body temperature, but if we don’t take in enough fluids dehydration sets in. Dehydration can raise the temperature. I have seen so much of that through my years working in Pediatrics.
Personally, I don’t feel well when I get dehydrated. Get headaches, tired and grumpy. A couple of glasses of water helps me.
Take good care of yourself too!