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Downsizing, To Move or Not to Move? That is the Question
Aging Well | Last Active: 39 minutes ago | Replies (495)Comment receiving replies
A senior living community may not be the choice for everyone. However, I am sharing this link with everyone because of the Q&A about planning and decisions.
Pages.Charter House>When is the Right Time to Move?
https://connect.mayoclinic.org/page/charter-house/newsfeed-post/when-is-the-right-time-to-move/
My mother-in-law made the decision to move to an assisted living complex when health issues and mobility became problems for her. She had her car and was completely independent, with assistance as needed when she eventually had a knee replacement and a back surgery. When driving became as issue, she relied on the complex's van and she never missed a bi-weekly road trip that was arranged by the activities director. As her health and needs changed, she transitioned to higher levels of care and was comfortable because she was surrounded by familiar faces. As her children we also became friends with the staff.
Each time she downsized (home - assisted living 2 bedroom apt - 1 bedroom - nursing home unit) she always invited us to look over her and invited us to select what we wanted. Then she arranged to have a sale of the rest. This worked well for her and for us. Her example has had a profound effect on my husband and my way of thinking.
I remember once while in a conversation about her final wishes, I told her that the one thing that I would really like to have was a particular silver chain necklace with a pearl/diamond pendant that had been made with one of her mother's earrings. She went right back to her jewelry box and gave it to me!
@kirkham, Have you looked at any assisted living complexes? Are there any senior communities in your area where there are activities for seniors?
Replies to "A senior living community may not be the choice for everyone. However, I am sharing this..."
You raised an interesting point I had forgotten @rosemarya My wife gifted all of her significant jewelry and art when she was still alive. She enjoyed giving them and being able to tell each person why something was important to her or why she thought of them when she wanted to gift it. I have now done the same with all the remaining art, etc. in our home. Had our children walk through, tell me what if anything they wanted and put their name on the back, noted those gifts in our estate papers, etc. Worked out great for us!
@rosemarya My mother developed Alzheimers and dementia, so we never had a conversation like that. As for my dad, as he downsized things, he noted items to go to particular relatives. Not long before he moved from his senior apartment, I was up for a visit. What did he gift me? A very old folding machete and camp shovel, that we used to carry in the car going into the mountain each week. A nice picnic blanket. And a firearm he had had since i was little. Afterwards, he left me several books that were well-used and old. Ah, the memories...
Ginger
@rosemarya My parents moved into an independent living facility 20+ years ago Nd, according to them, it’s the best decision they ever made. My father died 12 years ago and mom was able to go see him everyday. They took all their ‘special’ furniture, etc. with them. Now, she thinks all of us are wanting to take it (but we have other plans).She is there today and fees that she is very well taken care of. My siblings and I like the home, also. My husband and I plan to move to a similar place (when the dog dies) 🤗. Everyone is so different and, luckily, we have lots of options. One sister is looking into a “golden girls” arrangement with some of her friends. There is also Sage housing and Co-housing (not attractive to me). Not really a fun subject to think about.
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@rosemarya, Thank you for sharing your mil's downsizing experience. I'd earlier read the Charter House article and thought it raised important points to consider. It speaks volumes to your strong relationship with your mil that she so readily gifted you "ahead of time" with the pendant you so admired.
Like your mil, I'd been thinking along similar lines for my own downsizing and relocation to d.'s area. One thing I noticed early on as my d. and I toured different places in 2 diff states was that I'm a person who needs space to feel comfortable so "open-concept" floor plans held most appeal. Another biggie for me is that I need a ready "escape hatch" so being on the ground floor with an outdoor exit would be my much preferred choice. Of course those are high demand so the waits for vacancies would take longer but still if wishing, why not for those accommodations that would bring most comfort at the time of entry?