How do you accept change as you age?

Posted by Scott, Volunteer Mentor @IndianaScott, Apr 8, 2020

Aging and accepting our changes is never easy!

One of my favorite sayings is ‘it’s a good thing our children grow older, but parents don’t!’ Often I wish this was true and while it’s a positive message, not our reality.

Like it or not, time and life take their toll on us and we change. However accepting these changes can be a challenge in our lives and the lives of our loved ones. Both physically and emotionally I might add.

I remember well after caring for my wife for the first seven years of her war with brain cancer my dad passed away and I was able to get to his memorial service. I was very excited to see our two grandsons and decided being ‘as young as you feel’, and wanting to make up for lost time entered into a rousing game of Freeze Tag in the hotel’s front yard. All went well until I made too fast a deke and found myself flying across far more sod than I should have been! Result? Four broken ribs, a painfully long recovery, and a reminder I’m not as agile as I once was!

I also realize that the realistic view of our age is not relegated to ourselves alone. I’ve spoken with our adult children about this and they have said they don’t really see me as aging, but just as ‘Dad’, who they want to do all the same things with they have done in the past. On the other hand, our grandsons see me as ‘grandpa’ and are comfortable ‘just having me around’ especially if there happens to be a Dairy Queen nearby!

So it is I‘ve begun to think more about the importance of accepting the changes and limitations imposed on us as we advance in age. While I’m not cashing in any chips I don’t need to, I have found I do avoid a few challenges I used to gladly accept. For instance last summer I went whitewater rafting on some Class V rapids. After almost drowning, I have forgone any return trips to rivers with this class of rapids. I swim well, just not as far and as long as I used to be able to while fully clothed and in heavy gear.

While I miss those rapids and full contact Freeze Tag, I know why my grandmother often told me ‘discretion is the better part of valor’.

As you age, are you practicing discretion, even when you wish you didn’t have to? Is it hard like it is for me?

Interested in more discussions like this? Go to the Aging Well Support Group.

@merepreb, Merry, I share and embrace your philosophy. Thanks for this post! Are you accepting other "oldish" folks into your sorority??? How do I apply? Smiles

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I'm so glad that someone my ag-ish feels the same. Living in a senior community, I see so many who are "giving in" to what they think they should be. My mantra for the day is "so what?"

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@lioness
I've got lots of arthritis in my body too. I've had it in my back for many years. I just started getting arthritis in my hands the other year. Yuck! It feels like a knife in my hand. The bliateral carpal tunnel syndrome I have is enough for me to cope with. Wearing braces on both hands at once.

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@merpreb

@starchy- I know, it can be a lonely place, this aging thing. Aging sneaks up on us way ahead of when we might expect it. One day we are in grade school then college and maybe a higher educational degree. Then we work and marry have kids and grandkids. We spend a lot of time living and unless we have a major life-threatening disease we might only briefly think about it. Then, wham, we are oldish. See, I can't say that I'm old. My body might be aging or "old" {cough} but my mind isn't. I might be more mature and hopefully wiser but my heart tells me that I'm young and after almost 23 years of lung cancer I like to say this. My thinking and trying to get some words back is tiresome but so what? I can't lift weight poundage that I used to, so I go lighter. And I might have a return (I'm in what you might call remission) of my cancer, but so what? It can be zapped and I will go on and on. Being oldish gives me the choice of acting like a kid and having oldish wisdom. If I keep moving, and read, and doing crossword puzzles, and have loving friends, and a close family I might never be old, just oldish!

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You have it down. Kudos!

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@cldmeyers

I'm so glad that someone my ag-ish feels the same. Living in a senior community, I see so many who are "giving in" to what they think they should be. My mantra for the day is "so what?"

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@cldmeyers When my dad lived in a senior community, he was around 90. One of his favorite sayings was, "I don't know what I'm doing here - there are a bunch of old geezers here!" Gotta love it! He passed at 96.
Ginger

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@lsittll

@lioness
I've got lots of arthritis in my body too. I've had it in my back for many years. I just started getting arthritis in my hands the other year. Yuck! It feels like a knife in my hand. The bliateral carpal tunnel syndrome I have is enough for me to cope with. Wearing braces on both hands at once.

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@lsittll Very painful isn't it Those hand exercises are really good of course your hands hurt at first but feel better after you do them . The hand exercises are for Parkinson,s I don't have it but they are good exercises for anyone . I hope you give them a try if you do let me know what you think. Yes I wear hand gloves at times and a back brace but these chair exercises and strength training with bands also pushing against the wall will strength the back. When I do to much and have a tendency to do this I pay for it next day and rest also use Amish pain cream it is really good get it from Amazon. Take care Let me know how they go for you

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@lioness where do you find the hand exercises. I never saw a PT or was told to use hand exercises. (Kaiser could care less.)

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@lsittll

@lioness where do you find the hand exercises. I never saw a PT or was told to use hand exercises. (Kaiser could care less.)

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@lsittll I found them on U Tube . Search for hand exercises the one I like cant remember the name of the lady but she is so cute and all dressed in black a dimple in her cheek ,hope you can find her

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Thank you so much a@lionesss! I'll check em out. Thought you got them ni a doctor's office.

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