How do you accept change as you age?

@lolaemma, you have some solid and strong advice to offer about "do something about it." For some people that kind of self talk - just get up and do it - really works. Put your mind to it and you can do it. For others, it's not that easy. It can help to see a professional, especially someone trained in cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) to learn to reframe negative thinking.

@lolaemma, what changes have you made as you age to continue to Do, Join, Write, Cook, Discover?

My daughters and grandson taught me a tool they have been using to cope with the stress of the pandemic and staying at home. They call it "5 things for my 5 senses." It keeps the girls grounded as they deal with Covid stress and their workplaces. They are using it to short-circuit meltdowns with the 4 year old, and I am amazed how well it works. So it begins with 5 things I see - the sun shining in my sparkling clean windows, my husband across the table, the bird feeder out the window, the green of the trees, the fresh vegetables on the counter; continues with 5 things I hear - the eulogy for John Lewis, the fountain bubbling in the pond, the birds singing, cicadas..and goes on to smell, taste & feel.
I have been doing it every time I begin to feel anxious - which I now realize was happening several times a day, and after 3-5 minutes, it feels like I have been meditating, but because it is specific it is much easier for my ADHD mind. I also do it before my therapy exercises to ground myself, and on my daily walk to appreciate what is around me.
Sue

@sueinmn, Thanks for sharing the "5 Things for My 5 Senses", Sue. This can serve as a as a mood lifter for any age, young and older alike.

One of the things about aging that has been difficult to accept is the fact that, one by one, all the people who knew the younger me are dying off. It feels very lonely, as if no one remembers me. No one shares my memories. I'm curious about what you mean by "representing myself".

@sueinmn Thank you for sharing this pearl of wisdom as I feel I need to ground myself for the anxiety, living alone, and depression that overwhelms me these days.

@marjou I only realized 1 1/2 months ago how much anxiety, depression and grief I was experiencing. I just thought I was cranky. Since then I have found a few tools to help me cope. 5 thinngs... is just one of them. My daily "3 things I am grateful for today" is another (must be different every day).

Getting pain therapy has helped a lot too - I had no idea how much chronic pain was affecting me either - I thought I was handling it pretty well. A month of intense PT combined with medication and home exercises has given me back flexibility and movement missing for a couple of years. Today was an example of what I hope is my new normal - I was actually able to do some laundry & a little deep cleaning around the house and still have the energy for a walk.

I hope this is my new picture of accepting change - taking steps to make things as good as they can be. The amount of arthritis in my body means I'll never be pain-free, but if I can manage it and stay active, all is good.

Sue

I'm sorry for your collective losses. However my getting older is not full of regret. I lost the people I cared for my dad close friends various abilities. Being open to new ideas and strengths is going forward. When you look back you see a long dark shadow. Forward is the sunrising and the new day. You can live with the past if it makes you happy. I'm looking forward to the future. I'm following up on the things I always looked forward to ' When I had Time'. All I have now is time. Books skills movies ideas refreshing thoughts and mosy humour. I enjoy laughing it is very healthy. Try it.

Acceptance is the start. I also deal with pain that way. I felt with a desire to live required bargaining with myself what could I live with or without to prolong my functioning. Breathe

@sueinmn I too have so much arthritis in my body and your right the key to keeping it under control is exercise . Teresa showed me a hand exercise that is on u tube that really helps if its in your hands. I plan on putting this in with my chair exercises we do here if we ever get opened up again. I do them at home along with the finish of Tai Chi another one Teresa showed me . What a gal

@starchy- I know, it can be a lonely place, this aging thing. Aging sneaks up on us way ahead of when we might expect it. One day we are in grade school then college and maybe a higher educational degree. Then we work and marry have kids and grandkids. We spend a lot of time living and unless we have a major life-threatening disease we might only briefly think about it. Then, wham, we are oldish. See, I can't say that I'm old. My body might be aging or "old" {cough} but my mind isn't. I might be more mature and hopefully wiser but my heart tells me that I'm young and after almost 23 years of lung cancer I like to say this. My thinking and trying to get some words back is tiresome but so what? I can't lift weight poundage that I used to, so I go lighter. And I might have a return (I'm in what you might call remission) of my cancer, but so what? It can be zapped and I will go on and on. Being oldish gives me the choice of acting like a kid and having oldish wisdom. If I keep moving, and read, and doing crossword puzzles, and have loving friends, and a close family I might never be old, just oldish!