How do you accept change as you age?

Thank you lioness! Hope everything is going well in your neck of the woods😊

@virgo1952 Everything here is same as elsewhere staying in on lockdown when necessary to go out I wear mask and distancing . Im o.k. glad you are also

Hi Everyone, My name is Jeanie ,and this is my first time here. I've read a lot of your posts and have to admit I feel worse now than I did when I decided to come to this page. LOL let me explain. I decided to find a support group because I am struggling with this thing called ageing. I am 72 and while I have never been white water rafting, or cross country hiking, I was always pretty active. I learned as a young single mother to do a lot of my own home repairs and prided myself in not needing to ask for help. (Wow seems like yesterday). When my kids were little we would go for long walks offen. For most of my younger years I didn't have a car so I walked everywhere I went. When I got older walking wasn't as important but I did enjoy walking. Long story short, Now, I have suffered from Chronic pain for about 20 years. I had back surgery in 2017 which did not help, I have severe arthritis in my back, both hips, both shoulders and right knee. There are days I can hardly get out of bed the pain in walking is so bad not to mention the spasms in my back stop me in my tracks. I am a fall risk and use a cane only when I absolutely have to. My mind wants to walk, run and experience all I can but my body says nope not doing it. Everyone on here seems to have found the fountain of youth. I get depressed because I just can't do things I used to. I can't walk very far, and avoid going places for that reason. It's even hard for me to clean my own home due to the back spasms. I take muscle relaxants, and I have Tramadol for pain, which doesn't help but I don't want to get started on anything stronger. Tell me what your secrets are. I fear losing my independence all together. I do make myself move, I will go to walmart just to walk. I always use a cart to help me balance but I am at least able to walk for 1/2 hour or so. I also noticed I get tired much easier and faster now too. I am just not happy right now with how I am aging. I still mow my own grass, using a riding mower but my great grandson does my weed eating because it hurts my back and arms to weed eat. I do try to do what I can. Did I say I was very afraid of losing my independence. I live alone but am not lonely, I am painting my front porch right now by myself now and have other projects around the house I want to do. I am open to any and all suggestions. I want to remain as active as possible for as long as possible. Slowing down is expected when a person gets older, or is it ? I don't know any more. I am a retired nurse of over 50 years and a lot of that was spent taking care of geriatric patients. I became certified in alzheimer's when we first found out about the disease. I thought I knew everything there was to know about growing old till it happened to me. Now, I don't know anything at all. I will be anxiously waiting to hear from anyone who can help me with this. Thanks in advance... Jeanie

#jeanie26 Welcome to connect we have women and men of all age groups.I want to also welcome you to old age.lol I'm 78 and very active still not like I was of course.You sound like your keeping active that's good.Before covid came to are shores I had started a chair exercise program I live in a Dr. building.I have same pains ss nurses back are made for pain with all we do. I do art work I enjoy Right now I'm changing pictures on walls to other ones of family. It's hard to accept but it is what it is.Planting vegies in my apartment @fiedty76 had thesr good ideas Sharing here keeps us going Connect is a good group

Hi Lioness, thank you for your reply and your welcome to the group. Yes I am trying to stay active, I suppose I am my own worst critic. The fact is, I really don't mind growing older, I deserve it, I have lived a rather busy fulfilling life. I have worked hard all my life. Nursing is not an easy job but I can't imagine doing anything else, I love nursing and up until 2 months ago I was still working doing private duty simply because I loved what I was doing and just couldn't see myself not doing it. Even now I miss working but my family has been telling me for nearly 10 years to retire and I finally have. I have so much to be thankful for. I joined the US Navy in 1987-1995 and was LPO over the endocrinology clinic at Portsmouth Naval hospital. I loved being in the Navy and would have retired from it if it hadn't been for my health. I have 7 great grandchildren that are my very life. I spend as much time as possible with them but only 3 of them live close enough to visit often. Seems I always have one of them here, I love coming to grandma's house and I love having them. I think my biggest problem is not being able to do the things I want to do, due to pain or just lack of physical strength. I am not ready yet to give up doing everything for myself. Yet I know it can't be like that forever. I have been called stubborn more times than I care to count and I have to admit I guess I am. I just can't help it... I will be checking back offen to read more post. I have a feeling I am going to really like this group. Got to run, my great grandson is staying with me for awhile and he want to go to McDonalds for lunch. talk to you soon. God bless Jeanie

@jeanie 26 Nice to know a little about you.I retired from nursing in 05 Had 35 yrs in I was doing private duty then and fractured my back or I would have worked longer.I loved nursing helping people to get better so they could resume there life also working in several areas .I only have 1 grandson 12 now I helped raise him till he started school both parents worked. Take care bless you Linda

Hi, @jeanie26, I'm adding another welcome to our seniors group. Like you, I'm not into white water rafting, smile, but I was always very active and energetic. Any chronic pain and specifically back pain which resulted from an injury in trying to reposition my mom in the car can stop us in our tracks. I have osteoporosis and both high and low b.p. The sudden bouts of hypotension make me a fall risk. There is a walking/exercise thread on the forum that provides opportunities for those of us at all levels of ability and endurance to participate in to keep us motivated. There have been good links posted for armchair and balancing. I was not only shocked but deeply offended when it dawned on me that I could no longer do all that for most of my life I'd taken for granted. Learning to actually accept some limitations was a very real struggle for me. At 76, I'm ahead of you in years but I guarantee you that coming to the acceptance that I needed to focus on what I could still do, although for much shorter periods and some things not at all anymore, has been a daunting task for one who thought of herself as a lady Hercules. With your career as a nurse, I am surprised that you are moving at all! So much lifting, turning, and assisting patients has to have taken a huge toll on one's back. As an extended family caregiver, I salute you and all nurses as the medical angels you are! If the truth were told, I imagine the thought of losing our independence is one of the largest concerns most of us consider as we celebrate more birthdays. I live alone and find vacuuming and cleaning tubs and commodes my hardest household tasks because of the bending. In my book that you are doing your lawn and driving a riding mower says a great deal about your determination and effort to remain as active as possible. Two years ago, I helped my daughter restain her large surround porch and I can promise you I was reaching for some muscle relaxants so kudos to you for tackling your porch painting...that is work new friend! Personally, I've learned that slowing down for me is just what "is". Now, instead of fuming because I can't do what I could before, I've come to terms with that and just feel like on those off days that just "still being here is quite enough". After all, we spent years working to provide for ourselves and others; now it is our turn to do at our own pace. As a friend told me long ago: C+ is still passing....for a type A personality then, that was hard to swallow. Now, if I choose not to push for a day or two, I figure I'm entitled. Do you have purely for pleasure hobbies that hold your interest? I read murder mysteries and biographies for escape before bed and play online games; watch documentaries and PBS with some Netflix thrown in for good measure. What about you?

Hi Fiesty, I'm already 81 and also was very active in my earlier life. Thanks for mentioning the Walking thread which I had no idea existed. I am curious about it although I really have lots of opportunities for walking (with my cane, depending on the terrain). I love your words "I was deeply offended" when you realized you couldn't do as much as you were accustomed to doing. From one viewpoint, kind of funny as in how dare your body to not allow you to do that which you have always done. I certainly can identify with what you say! I was always a swimmer and only in the last 2 years did I have to realize that when on an ocean beach I could not just walk into the water to go for a swim because of my poor balance. If I want to feel completely in control when I'm in the water, it can't be in "nature's water", it has to be in a pool. That was a weird thing to have to realize, speaking of "deeply offended"! I have lately been wondering if there are "guidebooks" out there about what to expect when growing older! There are probably a zillion writings about it but I just never paid any attention to them because of course they didn't apply to me! It is only recently that I have to realize that given my age I have no choice: the word "elderly" applies to me even though I really cannot own that word! 🙂

@jeanie26 You know the saying, "Growing old is not for sissies!" I believe we owe it to ourselves to continue to do what we can. Eat a healthy diet, that may take into account any dietary restrictions you have due to health concerns. A trea once in a while, not every day. Watch your sodium intake. Move around some everyday. The walking group the @lioness mentioned is here https://connect.mayoclinic.org/discussion/lets-go-walking-join-me-for-a-virtual-walking-support-group/ [this is also for @barbb ]
Keep your brain active, also, doing crossword puzzles, playing games, doing crafts or creative endeavors. Learn new things all the time! My dad kept up learning new things until he passed at age 96!

I don't know about a fountain of youth. I have earned every ache, pain, wrinkle and gray hair. You are doing a lot. If you are concerned, get a good physical done, and reset your sights for happiness and health.
Ginger

Oh my, what a great lifter upper you are. Thank you for such encouragement and because of your words I feel so much better. I too am an A type personality, I am also an Aries, born in March, not that I know a lot about all that, but I know from what I've heard I fit the description of Aries almost to the tee. I have always been stubborn, fiery, and definitely know what I want and know how to get it. So, yes I haven't changed much in that regard. I am also very determined and willful. As a child I was all over the place, nothing or no one could change my mind once it was made up. Thank God I never outgrew these traits, because they are what has gotten me through a lot of hard times. However, now they can get in the way. I was mowing the grass, ( I have a little over an acer to mow) I got off the mower to move something and stepped in a hole and fell. I've lived here for nearly 20 years and never knew that dang hole was there. My 10 year old great grandson was here and came over and tried to help me up. I wasn't sure if I was hurt or not so I chose to just lay there a couple of minutes and see how I felt. After I got up I just kinda shook off what little pain I was having in my right side, got back on the mower and finished mowing. When I was finished, I took a shower, ate something and went to bed. The next day the pain in my side was worse so I took my grandson home and went on to the VA. where it was determined, I had 2 broken ribs and a third one was badly bruised. I had banged up my rt. knee a little but I was okay. Boy my granddaughter had a short fit. I say short because I told her it could have happened to anyone and that I didn't want to hear anymore about it. The lesson I learned was not that I fell but that even a SIMPLE fall at my age can bring devastating results so now I am a lot more careful. I have always had a fear of falling and that fall was a clear wake up call. That dang hole was immediately filled in. The reason I am telling you all this is because I need you to understand that now I believe there is a fine line between being stubborn and determined and being just plain stupid. As we grow older, we are suppose to grow wiser, at least that's what I have always believed but I tell you, right now I have a few doubts about my wisdom. LOL. Your most welcomed post has validated a lot for me. I know I really need to start taking it easier. I know I have to come to grips with the fact that I just simply can't do certain things any more. And you are so so right in saying we are entitled to take it easy and do what we can when we can. That's what I have been doing and then I get frustrated, but from now on I am going to be easier on ME too. I am going to refuse to feel frustrated anymore. You're also right about nursing being hard on one's back. I wish I had a nickel for every time I lifted, pushed or pulled on a patient and felt my back ache. Not to mention being on my feet everyday for 6-7 hours a day. When I got a little older it was so bad I could hardly make it up the 4 steps to get in my house. I have done private duty for the past 8 years full time but about 4 years ago I had to drop back to part time, 2-4 days a week. then a little over a year ago I had to drop back to one day a week. I retired 6 years ago but in Jan. of this year I decided to stop working all together. That's another hurdle I am trying to jump. I miss working, I miss my patient, I miss doing my nurse thingy. I had to realize that working only made matters worse. So reality has set in and frankly I don't like it, but this time I can't fight it, I can't get my own way this time so I will accept it and do what I can, when I can and be thankful that I have finally come to my senses and you my dear friend have been a great help in that decision. Yes, I have crafts I like to do, watch TV, documentaries are heavy on my list, I also read non-fiction on angles, life after death, etc. I also enjoy anything about gardening, household hints and do it yourself info. I am interested in alternative medicine and survival foods and techniques. I try to learn something new everyday. Oh yes before I forget, thank you for the tips about threads on the forum for walking and the chair exercises, I will definitely check it out. I didn't mean to write a short novel, I love to write so it's easy for me to get carried away. Please let me hear from you soon. and again, thank you for your kind and encouraging words. God bless Jeanie