@merpreb, my last losses came almost back-to-back in 2018. My husband died of colorectal cancer on March 25, 2018. With his 3-year cancer battle, we knew he would die, we just weren't expecting it so quickly. The Wednesday before he died, he started radiation (again). He confessed to me he would fight as hard as he could for as long as he could so as not to leave me and our then 3 1/2 year old son, he said "If I can just get a few more years until Travis is 8 or 9, so he will have better memories of me..." My husband died 4 days later. I felt I had to be strong for Travis, be both mother and father and keep his young life as normal as possible. In August, we celebrated Travis's 4th birthday. 6 days later (and 5 months to the day my husband died) Travis was dead, all because no one ever detected he was born without a spleen (the rare genetic birth defect Isolated Congenital Asplenia). Like you, I am somehow finding ways to keep taking those steps and keep moving forward with TEAM 4 Travis, in the hope that our efforts can prevent another family from losing a child to ICA.