Valid points, but sometimes you're told something that makes you believe you'll be in and out, when not only will that not be the case but you'll need to stay quiet for an additional day. In that instance (spinal MRI) that's what always is done. As for the hand tremors, that's a common side effect of one of Marty's meds, and his transplant docs want him to take that particular med, along with the usual prednisone and a second immunosuppressant. Because the important thing is not to lose the kidney, there's no alternative answer. He got the transplant at Legacy Good Samaritan in Portland, OR, which is one of the most successful transplant centers. Can't argue that their protocol works!
Four years before the transplant, he had three failed back surgeries, with a surgeon so godawful that we were part of the largest medical malpractice suit ever to hit court in Portland. This doc was an out-and-out criminal who zeroed in on people with underlying health issues so that he could do multiple surgeries on them, claiming it was due to their other issues. Not only did he earn $$ for the surgery, but he was one of the five owners of the day surgery center (more $$ for him), plus he was romancing the gal who sold all the expensive titanium parts and received a kickback on those (even more $$). In spite of the three surgeries, until the transplant Marty worked full-time in an active job selling drift boats and teaching new owners basics of trailering, launching, and rowing. He continued to work full time even while undergoing dialysis 3x/week, and we fished most weekends, taking turns rowing while I did the harder things, like cranking the boat up onto the trailer. He determined that when he got the transplant he'd quit the sales job because he felt he had earned total retirement. We had both worked for a fishing publisher for years prior to his job for our boat client, and there he only had to work 3-4 days a week as an editor because the publisher's motto was, "men need to fish and women like to work." I worked there for nearly 30 years, generally 60-80 hours per week, selling advertising in magazines and books and being the overall manager of all the publications--editing, design, circulation, distribution, promotion. I'm also five years older, so his belief he had earned total retirement while I continued to do design and marketing for our various clients didn't go down very well. <g>
Since his transplant, he spends most of his time in a recliner reading, watching TV, eating, napping. The more he sits, the more pain he has. In spite of that, his labs are always great, so the docs are all happy. I drove him to a really good PT person two hours away every other week, but she fired him for non-compliance after 10 months. Even though he flat refused to do the exercises or walk between visits, he was considerably better, had far less pain. In the two years since, he has really gone downhill with extremely poor balance (which causes pain in and of itself) and almost no muscle tone. He now spends about half the daytime hours lying on the couch, moaning. He almost never leaves the house as it's "too much trouble." His labs are still great, better than mine with the same kidney doc, dammit! Our boat is now MY boat, and I fish by myself. He does virtually nothing around the house: when he finishes a gallon of milk, he just leaves the empty jug on the counter. I have to goad him into taking a shower once a week as it's "too much trouble." He sits in the damned recliner and tells me what he wants me to get for him. I'm now 77, and I still work for three client regularly, volunteer for Backpack for Kids, am Curriculum Dir. for a lecture series, and maintain the house and yard, including all repairs. The "yard" is acreage, so my contractor's wheelbarrow gets lots of action. I'm sure that part of his trouble is depression, part sheer laziness as he's always done the least amount of work possible, but, because his labs are so great, all his docs say he's doing fine.
Hello @joyces I have experienced similar depression with my father. He is 74 and received his heart transplant almost 3 years ago. His heart is doing great, however he isn't. His hand tremors had decreased with time. He had been in outpatient physical therapy for years trying to regain strength, muscle and balance. He has not been able to walk without a cane or now a walker since his transplant. He did not need assistance prior. He has recently been diagnosed with Parkinson's which only makes everything worse. Transplant often causes depression. My father sits in the chair in front of the living room window and watches world go by (on commercial breaks of course!) He does nothing for himself anymore. I thought it was all on him, being lazy, but the depression has an extreme hold on him, he just can't do anything. I have been working with his transplant psychologist to get him more help. I am also working to move him into an assisted living as it is not safe for him to stay home by himself any longer. He is too much of a fall risk. I fear we will find him severely injured one day. As a caregiver it is extremely frustrating to watch somebody who received a life saving gift seem to take it for granted, not be compliant and not willing to help themselves. We have had several disagreements on this. I have learned all I can do is try to get the mental health help he needs and then let go of what I can't make him do. (not sure if that is giving up, but I can't do anymore).