Wow. You have really taken action to overcome. I can still do very little and I have a terrible problem with really caring. My then 32yr old son died in 2007/cancer, then my husband of 20 years died in 2008, my dad in 2009 died, in 2011 my younger son came home after being missing for 12 years. In 2016 my new condo burned out entirely. I felt I had nothing left to lose and so I remarried at the end of 2013 and had moved to NY, keeping a small place in OK, I couldn't afford to keep up my house that I had with my husband. That younger son Tim died in 2018 just 2 days after his father (was married to him for 17 years). Tim died of a heart attack - broken heart syndrome. My mother also died in Nov 2018. During all those years from 2007-current I have worked diligently just to stay upright. I had numerous health issues which were pseudo problems and of all sorts. It has been like my body breaking down. Actually the pandemic has given me pause and I have had to sit still so to speak. Migraines every day for many years. When I have a pain free and peaceful night sleep it seems a miracle. I think I have gotten me this far by just believing that some day I will get to the other side and the Grace of God whom I had to actually seek. When my first son died, a priest said to me, "You will never have to hurt this bad again." I have wondered but truthfully nothing hurt more than Jeff's death in 2007. I thought I would surely die. I have a daughter remaining. she is the oldest. I have 3 grandchildren, 2 by my daughter and her husband and one who was only 18 mo old when his father Jeff died. Thankfully, he looks mostly like his mother but oh my God! --when his voice changed he sounded exactly like Jeff. Jeffs voice and sound.