Hi, @mattrix169 - I agree with you -- I don't care for people telling me to relax or to calm down. It just doesn't help and is pretty offputting.

We don't actually give advice here on Mayo Clinic Connect, as we are not medical professionals. Rather, the goal in this online community is to connect patients with other patients, who help and support each other tremendously.

I really commend you, as you seem very self-aware and are clearly trying to improve things in your life.

Hoping that @gingerw will return to the discussion and that @mlbaier @lighthouseceliac @parus will have some input on how to tone down your unstable anger. @jenniferhunter and @anncgrl have talked about dealing with explosive anger/rage with a loved one and may have some suggestions for you.

How is the relationship with your brother after the fight you mentioned?

Hi!! These are trying times to say the least!!
I grew up with a sister who was always angry. As I got older I understand why, but at the time it was very hard to deal with. I had such emotions about how my childhood was, that I got together on skype with a hypnotherapist. Now you can find audio sessions for free, google home is what I use.
Hypnotherapy teaches you how to deal with life, and the great news that your own behavior is the only thing that you can control. Once you learn and practice this, it helps to realize that no matter what happens around you, that you have control over your own emotions and reactions.
Weeding out the ones who don’t help you in this effort can be tricky, working with a therapist of any kind can help with that. Mine said to let past relationships be...don’t kick up the dust...surround yourself with the things and people who bring you joy and peace.
Good luck....life lived calmer can be achieved!!