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Thoughts on adoption or surrogacy
Fertility & Reproductive Health | Last Active: May 2, 2023 | Replies (9)Comment receiving replies
@mepowers - first thank you for sharing the adoption story of your son! It provides hope to those of us who also are considering going down that route. I also agree with you that the adoption scene has changed in the past couple of years and can be tricky to navigate. I looked up the state laws in my state and it seems that the birth mother would have less than 90 days to change her mind. However, adoption presents some technical challenges for us - simply put, location. Due to my husband's career, we might be moving multiple times in the next several years. Each move would be to a different state and we wouldn't know the location until two to three months prior. From what I read online this does not seem like best situation with most people advising to "just wait". Any advice on your end?
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If it were me, I’d wait until I’m in a state with the best adoption laws. You said your current state is under 90 days. I would look for less than a week for the birthmother to change her mind. The waiting and even after placement is all stressful. I don’t want to sugarcoat it. We had a great adoption agency and attorney that worked with us. I’d say do your homework and talk to people who have adopted in the state. There is nothing to prevent you from putting in an application and then moving. There is also the international adoption route. The thing about that is the door is permanently closed for your child to ever learn about their family history. Adoptees are curious to varying degrees, and you just don’t know. My son does not know his birthfather aside from a name and what his birthmother told him. Good luck! I know it’s not something you enter into lightly.