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Caring for someone w/ obsessive-compulsive personality disorder (OCPD)

Mental Health | Last Active: Apr 21, 2020 | Replies (24)
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@lisalucier

Welcome to Connect, @rpg. I can certainly sense your frustration. Finally your husband is willing to seek help, and the help appears to be unavailable in the way your husband wants it. I agree with @sears. Have you asked your husband's GP or the psychologist who diagnosed him with obsessive compulsive personality disorder (OCPD) to make the referral to Mayo Clinic? Can you return to the psychologist he already saw?

Some other members on Connect have mentioned OCPD and may have some input for you on how to help with your husband's condition, especially the raging behavior, like @wellandhappy @angelinaprinzivalli @usernameca @dorisena @brdwybaby. @gingerw also may have some input for you.

Your husband opening up is huge. It would appear that he is beginning to recognize that he needs help. That's good. You mention that his raging has been increasing in intensity and duration. What has you most concerned about his behavior? This must have a big impact on you, too. Do you see a therapist to help you manage?

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Replies to "Welcome to Connect, @rpg. I can certainly sense your frustration. Finally your husband is willing to..."
Ginger, Volunteer Mentor | @gingerw | Dec 11, 2019

@rpg Have you developed an escape plan if it is needed [people to contact/place to go to]? If you are concerned for your physical safety, express that to your husband. The next time he becomes abusive, pick up your packed bag and leave. Immediately. Your safety has to come first. The things that @lisalucier mention are very valuable, and I hope that one of your husband's drs are able to refer him. If not, perhaps you know someone in your area who has had similar experiences and can give you a few names of professionals who helped them?
Ginger

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rpg | @rpg | Dec 11, 2019

Thanks for reaching out. Previous psychologist has retired and left the area. GP is old school-which is why hubby likes him-and believes it’s a “rough patch.”
Thanks for the connections. I’ll check those out.
I guess I find myself spending too much time weighing my future. Do I stay with a husband of 30 years who is indifferent (his best attempt at kindness) or honor my in sickness and in health vow. He is 66 and I am 61. But it is to the point I wake up, think about what day it is, and then think about whether we are in the silent-treatment stage, the raging stage, or the pleasant stage.
As far as his rages, what worries me is the potential for him to cross into physical violence.
I do have a therapist. Thanks

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