I've had 3 cancers: Thyroid cancer, Lung Cancer and Breast Cancer

Hi @remi and welcome to Connect. I modified the title of the discussion you started to align it with the question you wish to ask. There are several members who have had multiple cancers. From what I understand from your message, your first diagnosis was thyroid cancer, correct? Was the lung cancer and breast cancer both primary cancers and not metastasis?

Hi. Colleen, yes the thyroid was first they did a complete removal w/ radiation pill. Yes the lung and breast were both primary all started in 2012. I am retired from the military and was on the military rodeo team but these last 9 years have really been a wild ride. I know keeping a sense of humor and staying positive along with the lord have kept me beating this monster.

@remi- Good morning. I've had 2 types of lung cancer, one now for 12 years. Mine were related as much as they are/were NSCLC. Have you had all three tested to see if they are related, especially lung and breast cancers. These are common types to metastasize. What is your status now? Are you in treatment?

The VA said they tested and said they were not related.....I am finished treatment, the VA is following me on a 3 month bloodwork and oncologist schedule, 6 month liver ultrasound and lung ct, back to 1 year diagnostic mammogram. Plus I have a surgeon at Moffit who has ordered some other test and the dna stuff

@remi- Good morning. It sounds as if you and your doctors have everything under control, with more tests on the way. Perhaps there will be more answers then. This is pretty good for the VA!

I am new to this forum and cancer support. I joined this group, not for myself, but for my boyfriend. I'd appreciate guidelines for how to be supportive to him, what to say, what not to say. He is currently fully functional, he's still working. He had his kidney removed in August and is scheduled to have surgery on his pancreas to remove a small cancer lesion in January. The kidney and the pancreatic cancers are not the same type of cancer. Now they have discovered nodules and a lesion on his lung; a PET scan was completed last week with a potential biopsy, pending the results of the PET scan. He's understandably afraid. His younger sister died last year; cancer seems to run in the family. I want to be supportive, but I don't know what to say. Any suggestions would be appreciated. Thanks so much !

I have to actually say I for one have been taken care of pretty good by the VA...I know all the horror stories but so far pretty good and I Retired from the military in 1998 started going to the Tampa,Florida VA in about 2001, for my lymphedema associated with the removal of the lymph nodes they are sending me to their occupational therapist in the poly trauma unit, she’s great. I do agree that some who should be getting disability benefits don’t and that’s one of the biggest complaints veterans have against the VA.

Hi I’m not one of the mentors but I myself have been through three different cancers. The best thing my husband did for me was to be himself, be there for me and go to all my surgeries, appointments, scans with me because there is such a thing as scan-anxiety (you go anxious prior to and while waiting for the results) , scared they will find more especially when you’ve had more than one cancer. Don’t push him to talk about things, let him at his pace. I had a very hard time talking to my husband and closest people to me at first, I also lost my mother, father, brother, uncle and aunt to the monster and have a cousin who has been fighting it since childhood. We’re a big pretty close family my cousin and I are really close and do talk about all this stuff, more than we talk to our spouses about. I do talk to my husband but it a thing like some things in the military if you’re not there and it’s not happening to you, one doesn’t truly know. And it’s not to take away the care or love one gives their parters (my husband is the best in the world and I can tell you are too) it’s just talking to that person who has been there helps reassure you that you can win the battle and beat the monster, because they are proof. My husband also got online researched everything, so when we went to the drs if I missed something he had my back, he looked up all my meds...because I’m allergic to a few things, he is very active in my health issues. I hope this helps you, have a very Merry Christmas

@monroeed- Good morning and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. It sounds like your boyfriend is doing well despite his discouraging news.I know just what you mean, not knowing what to say. Even after 22 years with lung cancer I still get a bit nervous when someone tells me that they have cancer (s). The most important thing is to be honest. One of the things that angered me a lot was when people would tell me that I was tough and this would be nothing for me; God will see you through this; my friend's cousin had the same thing and she didn't make it; there's a special cancer diet, There are good foods for you and those are the best. There really isn't any special diet.
Science based facts are necessary for me so that my hopes don't get high and then those facts turn out to be false.
He might be very confused, not knowing how is he going to get through all of this. Make sure that you reassure him that he isn't alone. You must love him a great deal to search for help. Ask him what he wants for conversations. And if he doesn't want to talk sometimes let him have his time. I feel that it's more important to learn what not to say than there is to say because your intimacy with this man will help guide you.
Last year I began a blog about my experience because I was so overwhelmed with having cancer. I needed an outlet! I hope that he will read this, and you. I deal with a lot of your questions.
https://my20yearscancer.com/
Here are some more links to help.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/cancer/in-depth/cancer-survivor/art-20045378
https://www.cancercare.org/blog/cancer-i-care-i-weighs-in-what-not-to-say-to-someone-who-has-cancer
Here is another link: https://connect.mayoclinic.org/group/kidney-conditions/

Please feel free to ask me anything. I will try and help guide you. There are many many conversations on Connect and reading those will help. Do you think that your boyfriend would be interested in joining Connect?
How have you helped him through his other cancers?

@remi- Excellent advice. Hope is what it's all about!