The eternal struggle to comprehend (not hear--comprehend) what is being spoken means that I lose what I learned during the first sentence as I marshall every brain cell I have to comprehend the second...and the third, etc. I not only cannot remember names but details, even of things that I already know quite a bit about. I often am in lengthy meetings where technical issues about fish and their habitats are discussed. These are topics I've been involved in for decades and know very well, but, after two or three (or more) hours of discussion and note taking, I'm at a loss to summarize what I heard.

Because this degree of loss is quite recent (end of May this year), I find that I'm exhausted most of the time--not because I've done lots of physical activities or failed to get enough sleep, but just from the struggle to understand. In fact, one day I spent 4 hours driving and 6 hours hiking in difficult terrain, all entirely by myself. At the end of that day, I wasn't nearly as tired as I am after a 2-3 hour meeting sitting on my butt! If someone walks past while I'm working in the yard and initiates a 10-minute discussion, I'm tired afterwards. Just a few minutes of making the effort to comprehend is a challenge.

I'm sure that part of my exhaustion is due to depression caused by not being able to understand in small group situations, like around a table for 8 or 10. I feel cheated when I can see that everyone is having a lively discussion but I can only understand occasional words. Of course, a good deal of my problem isn't that I can't hear at all, but that, due to Meniere's, what I hear is so distorted some days that it's just babble punctuated by hurtful spikes of sound. Add fluctuation (sometimes I can hear and understand, but other times I can't even tolerate wearing an aid due to recruitment and distortion), which makes it even harder for people around me to be patient on the days when hearing/comprehension are at very low levels. An hour ago, I might have been able to participate in a one-on-one conversation, but at the moment I cannot, which is very confusing to everyone--including me!