@merpreb
Thank you, Merry, for reminding us what life was like without the internet. Sometimes I want to return those "good 'ol days", thinking life was simpler, less instant, and far less hectic. However, as you wrote, 22 years ago, this wonderful Mayo Connect site did not exist. I've overheard my partner telling others how I've found such lovely support here on Mayo Connect. This has become my "home group".

I'm just 11 weeks out from my diagnosis and 9 weeks out from a radical hysterectomy for endometrial cancer. Now that my energy is returning, I've squished too many activities in to too little time. I need to remind myself each morning that my partner, my family, (this includes our animals) and my close friendships are most important. Thank you for the reminder to limit appointments, slow down, and not overly complicate my life. Yes, I think that living each day, one at a time, and simplifying our lives is key. We can say "no" to what we can control.

Thank you for your inspiring post.

I think people, us , who are challenged by a cancer, develop a tolerance to adversity. At first there is the panic that shields and is a defense mechanism. You work through the panic then your life, your new life, begins. That is how I see it. The person I once was has changed. Priorities shift or change altogether. I am getting to know the “new” me. This is the “journey”. I met a man and he asked me out for coffee and my response was:”I will ask her(me) if she wants to go”. I am that disconnected from the new “me” right now. I see this as dealing with the adversity, the challenge, the cancer. I am a work in progress. I am in protective mode. Whether this is wrong or right who knows. I just know that for me right now I need to get to know the changed “me”. I take things in steps. I live one day at a time. I am most annoyed right now with the frivolous and most touched by the simple things. The sun coming up each day is beautiful and calming. I listen to birds and that is wonderful. My dog is a great comfort. He seems to know when I need him more. A hug from a friend feeds my soul! A smile from a stranger acknowledges me and I like that. I read posts on this site and it is nourishing. It satisfies my need for affirmation. I feel validated. Happy anniversary to you! You are still here and that is a very good thing. You are a survivor! Thank you so very much for sharing.

Hi @merpreb I find this an interesting discussion.

All I can add, from the perspective of my wife's war is this -- celebrate and relish in whatever it is you are able to do.

Easier said than done, I know! Often it is easier to mourn what it is we've lost than relish what we have left. Personally I've found this true after my stroke -- many times I catch myself complaining about what I can't see and forget to laud what I still can.

I know by necessity my wife and I were forced to greatly simplify our lives due to her cancer. Much because of her physical and mental limitations, some by my lack of ability to manage all the demands of caregiving with other things I'd have been doing at the time, and some by the financial burdens. The journey is daunting, but by keeping it simple, became a tad less so for us.

Strength, courage, and peace.

@merpreb You ask “do you think simplifying is the best, until we can handle more complex activities”? That was good for me to read as I’ve had to give up so many activities I’ve always enjoyed. Now, I let others do things for me and know that they are enjoying what they are doing and I’m saving my strength. Guess it just takes time

@merpreb A simple "thank you" for your words feels inadequate, but it is heartfelt. This weekend has been one of introspection, and wondering, and journaling, and just wondering again. Simple is good. Looking out the windows this morning into the fog, and knowing the seasonal changes are something to be grateful for.
Ginger