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Metastasized colon cancer: At a loss..what is next?
Caregivers | Last Active: Nov 1, 2020 | Replies (46)Comment receiving replies
I appreciated your comment about scripting out. And also I get that you don’t consider it awfulizing the situation. In my life with anxiety I know I used to catastrophize. On occasion I still do but it is an entirely different feeling than what you call scripting out. When I script in my mind, I prepare calmly, I gain strength knowing I can deal with whatever comes. On the other hand catastrophzing is a state of panic, fear and weakness. We are all learning about anticipatory grief. Something in that order would happen when my military husband would be nearing periods of deployment. The stress would eat on both of us to the point we would both just want it to happen and get it over with. Anticipation was worse than the reality of separation. The anticipation we live with in probable terminal illness hollows us out. I worry about losing myself.
Replies to "I appreciated your comment about scripting out. And also I get that you don’t consider it..."
@susan2018 I think stress is our biggest stumbling block in almost any situation. It really does eat at us. Just remember, that you once were a military wife and stress is our middle name. You, and he, got through the deployments safely and became much stronger. Use your anticipation to do positive things for both of you, things that you’ve always liked doing. You can also use it to be the strong, knowledgeable one. Take on some of his burden by having information. Keep a notebook of meds, doctor visits, lab work, etc. By being strong, you won’t lose yourself. Becky (a retired army wife)
@susan2018 How has everything been going for you? Been thinking about you. Becky
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@susan2018 Yes, I can relate to the state of anticipation in the face of terminal illness. I am waiting to hear what treatments will be done for a rare myeloma [blood cancer] that I have plus a nasty kidney issue. The chemo usually given for the myeloma can shut my kidneys down, so they are running more tests. Not knowing where you live, please check with the team of doctors you are using, to get resources for a face-to-face caregiver/family member support group. We are here for you, but we all know having someone right next to you can be a big relief, also.
Ginger