I appreciated your comment about scripting out. And also I get that you don’t consider it awfulizing the situation. In my life with anxiety I know I used to catastrophize. On occasion I still do but it is an entirely different feeling than what you call scripting out. When I script in my mind, I prepare calmly, I gain strength knowing I can deal with whatever comes. On the other hand catastrophzing is a state of panic, fear and weakness. We are all learning about anticipatory grief. Something in that order would happen when my military husband would be nearing periods of deployment. The stress would eat on both of us to the point we would both just want it to happen and get it over with. Anticipation was worse than the reality of separation. The anticipation we live with in probable terminal illness hollows us out. I worry about losing myself.