@lah Your comments just seem real to me. My husband and I are early in the cancer journey, just a month in to a pancreatic cancer diagnosis after life altering surgery. But previous health issues this year have hinted at the coming changes in our lives. All situations are different but there are similarities too. Mainly that life has changed. That the future is unknown but surely includes stress. And you, as do I, have no nearby family and also have other losses in our lives. Before I even knew the diagnosis would be cancer, I requested a referral to a counselor from my physician. I knew I needed a support system. I also asked two women to be my companions on this journey, not close friends or relatives but rather wise women who I felt would be empathetic and emotionally available to me. We don’t live close, but they are available to me online. I don’t communicate with them continuously, just know that I can if need be. I also found a woman through another group who I did not previously know but whose husband is going through similar diagnosis and treatment and we support each other through occasional texts. To be honest I struggle with resentment because some of my husband’s health issues are probably related to health choices he’s made in life but now not only he but I too am suffering the consequences. And I feel that it has often in our lives together fallen to me to be the strong one despite the toll it has taken on me. And then I feel bad and remind myself that no one’s future is guaranteed, my own included. I also wonder if the energy I am expending on his care, physical and mental, will end up hurting my own health. I suspect you understand. Perhaps it can help all caregivers, you and me included, to know that we are not alone.