Thanks for the kind words, @becsbuddy

As I think about your great question, here is what I think:

1 -- Caregiving must be demanding. How are you doing?

2-- Is there anything I can do to help either of you?

3 -- See #1

4 -- Is there anything I can do for YOU?

5 -- I've heard XYZ is a good (person/company) have you ever tried them?

The only other thing I'd add here is that if something is offered, I hope the person will actually follow through. So many times folks said 'sure I'll do that' and never did. This is especially true if it is said in front of the patient -- offering, then not doing it, was especially crushing to my wife.