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ellerbracke (@ellerbracke)

Recognizing my own bias or prejudice .....

Just Want to Talk | Last Active: Oct 15, 2019 | Replies (173)

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Hi “ellerbracke”,
I believe I do the same thing. Im not at all a mean person but I do have a bad tendency to be judgmental.
For a while it was almost constant. Im trying to keep my mouth shut! I figure if I think it, its ok but keep it in….usually I make comments. Unfortunately not only about heavy people, mostly women but also people who are dressed weird, or people who dont bother to clean up or comb their hair before they go out. I hate when I see a mother and dad with a child….Mom and Dad have a jacket and hat on, the baby is in short sleeves, no hat! And…..so MUCH more. ( A 4 year old with a pacifier.). Crap, so much pisses me off! Im trying to do better.
“ellerbracke”, I agree with what you said too. How can people let themselves get THAT huge(?). Being a
little overweight is fine, but when I see people obese or 60 plus pounds overweight, I just wonder. Bad habit, uh?
The reason Im trying to be better is of course I should but the real reason is my daughter used to always tell me I shouldnt be so judgmental. She was right. We lost our daughter suddenly June 3. She gad a birthday on Aug 1……would have been 46. We are still in bad shape, feeling lost and empty. I cry every day. Its tough. No mother or dad should outlive their child. I have my story with Mayo Connect.
Regarding being judgmental, Im so bad, I make comments about people in commercials !!! My bad?😫
“eller”, take care.
I whine, too. They should have a “bitch session” section on Mayo Connect
Kathi Fodor
(My story is under: Recent, sudden, traumatic loss, etc.)

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Replies to "Hi “ellerbracke”, I believe I do the same thing. Im not at all a mean person..."


My heart goes out to you on your unthinkable loss. My children are 50 and 53 and I can’t imagine what you are going through but can only offer my prayers.


Let me offer my condolences regarding your daughter. I know many people who have lost children of all ages, mostly from Status Epilepticus or Sudden Unexpected Death in Epilepsy. My girlfriend died in an car accident at 17. As horrible as that was I know it pails in comparison to your loss. Somethings you never get over. Many friends have told me there is no greater loss than the loss of a child. If I knew the person I would write a letter telling the parents how much happiness their child brought into my life.

@ihtak46 : I am so very sorry about the death of your daughter. You have my sympathy – it must be terribly hard to deal with that.

I like your idea about a “bitch session”……. it may fry the circuits, perhaps? I usually keep my mouth shut when facing irritating situations or people, but it’s hard. Sometimes I try to find a humorous aspect (as in when a young man’s pants crotch is almost at his knees = making it harder to run from trouble, when someone has his/her grocery cart parked in the middle of the shopping lane, meditating about the products displayed = a chance for me to get a really good stretch or deep knee bend, or walk an extra round (exercise) to get at what I want, or somebody pretty much driving inches from my rear bumper = making sure I absolutely drive the speed limit in retaliation (does not happen often, I’m afraid to say), etc.
Generally, I find my level of irritation and intolerance are in direct relationship to general feeling of well-being, especially sleep. Between TKR and assorted related issues, and the recent extensive heat/humidity period in SC that really limited my beloved outdoor activities, both resulting in pretty permanent sleep deprivation, I’m at the slightly grumpy stage many days. Looking forward to cooler weather, glorious fall colors, pre-holiday scents like burning leaves (yes, I like that), cool and gloomy days (ditto! after non-stop sunshine), cinnamon steeped in apple cider – those things put me in a more happy and tolerant and gracious mood. (Until the Christmas carols start in the department stores around October 15!!!!!)