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Stress/Anxiety/Insomnia/Memory Issues
Depression & Anxiety | Last Active: Nov 25, 2020 | Replies (135)Comment receiving replies
I'm so sorry to read all the whoas, I too feel as if I am going crazy not being able to remember this from my past, I am pretty sure that it's because at a young age I was abused by my husband mentally and physically. we had 2 kids at a very young age 19. and i'm sure he couldn't have cared less. I don't have one family picture. my son is an alcoholic and my x doesn't even talk to our daughter. I'm so sick that i even talk to him. we live in different states. He makes me feel like a telephone mom even though my kids and I are fine.sometimes I can't even think of certain words in simple sentences. I've had therapy, it helps for me to cry and cry, sometimes like last few days i just don't want to even be here. My husband is sick and tired of hearing about my x. i can't blame him.
whoa is me, I should be happy I have a good life, but I am not.I take ambien to sleep at times, I just had rotator cuff surgery, so i've been in pain for over 8 months, I can't remember anything from my past except for being abused. I'm tired.
Replies to "I'm so sorry to read all the whoas, I too feel as if I am going..."
@karjack
It sounds like you are unhappy in the most important relationships in your life, your children, your husband and your ex husband. You indicate that even to this day, after being separated from your ex for so long, he is still a torment to you. This is very unhealthy. I do not know you. I only know what you have said here so what I am going to say may or may not apply to you, it's just based on what you have said.
I believe you need to stop communicating with your ex husband. You obviously want to continue with a close relationship with your kids and that goes without saying, but this other person who you eliminated from your life once before should not still be a part of it. It would be unrealistic to think this will solve all of your problems, but change has to start somewhere, and getting this abusive person removed once and for all from your life sounds like a good place to start.
Here is something that might help. If you believe in God, this is the time to ask for his help. If you keep your mind turned toward him and sincerely ask for his help and for strength to deal more effectively with your life, you may, with time, be surprised at what comes. If you do not have a belief in God or at least some type of higher power, the advice still stands. Get rid of your ex from your life.
I am very saddened to hear about anyone allowing an abusive person to remain in their life. Please do this for yourself, your husband and your kids. It will absolutely improve your life, I am certain of it.
With warm regards and hope for a better life for you, Hank
@karjack It sounds like in many ways you left your 1st marriage but the effects of the relationship continue to haunt you. You have an extensive trauma history. I know that you said you've had therapy but it sounds like you need more intensive trauma work. Therapy isn't a one-and-done endeavor for most. With trauma, each layer needs to be slowly peeled away and for many this takes years. The work is so worth it and it CAN and WILL get easier.
You mentioned that you, 'don't want to even be here." It's is normal to have these kinds of thoughts but I need to check in and make sure that you feel that you can keep yourself safe? If at any point you felt that you couldn't keep yourself safe would you tell a loved one and/or call authorities?
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@karjack You mentioned you have had therapy before. Are you currently in a professional therapy, or might you consider it? It sounds like you have quite a struggle right now.
If you feel you are in danger of doing something to end your life, please call 911, or the the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline https://988lifeline.org.
Are you taking any medications for anti-depression? Please let me know how you are doing today.
Ginger