Thanks Sundance. I'm taking Melatonin right now to see if that will help with sleep. My doctor wants me to try that before anything else. I'm still waking up at 4:30 but at least I am not waking up several times during the night most nights. Last night was a bit rough but I think that was because of the issues with my wife. I'm on Ativan for the anxiety issues. Pretty low dose but it seems to be working a lot of the time. Otherwise, I am off of all the antidepressants and mood stabilizers I was on for years. I do feel less like a zombie now though the lack of sleep and memory issues are really bothering me.
Been trying to rebuild some friendships that I let slip away over the past few years when the depression got really bad. I have almost forgotten how to make friends I think. It's a strange feeling now that I recognize the lack of friends to spend time with and do things with. I have a few work friends that I go out to lunch with once or twice a month. That has helped some. I no longer have a best friend that is local. I have some college friends that I have reached out to but they are scattered across the country (and one is in Denmark). Been trying to get out more but I have been spending most of my time taking my daughter to soccer, karate, doctor appointments, etc. My wife complains that she is a single mother now but I really don't see it with all I have been doing for her and for my daughter. I wouldn't trade the little bit of time I get to spend with my daughter for anything though. I miss having more time with her. My other daughter is in the Peace Corp so I don't get to see her at all. I get to talk with her once a month or so. We text most days. I guess the problem is I feel very alone and am trying to fix that but not having a lot of luck right now.