Hello Jen. We all deserve a comfortable place to let it out and im glad you did. I'm wondering if you or your Dr are farmiliar with intravenous lidocaine infusions? They are another way of masking pain and are used for chronic pain ,fibromyalgia, neuropathy, etc... I am going on my 11th week of infusions and have finally found a dose that I am beginning to benefit from. I am also on opiods (hydrocodone), not by preference obviously, and am trying to reduce my intake by finding other options such as the lidocaine infusions. Have yet to try CBD. I understand the mind struggle of taking all these meds (also on Lyrica CR (controlled release) and Cymbalta). But, I finally came to terms that I am not an addict and never will be one because I am accountable to myself first and foremost, and it is for pain relief only. Of course it would be our goal to never need these drugs in our life but pain has no mercy. I send you well wishes and continued hope in persevering. I too think of the sound of the ocean, sand between my toes and the warmth of the sun on my face as I take calming deep breaths. May you find a calmness for your pain as soon as possible.
~Rachel