Hello @aliali It really is important that you seek some help from non-family members. You need to unlearn the former ways of relating to yourself and to others.

Do you read any affirmations daily that help you focus on loving yourself? If not, search some out and read them daily. You need to convince yourself of your worthiness.

Here is one website that I found with these types of affirmations. As you look on the internet you may find more.
https://www.self-help-and-self-development.com/self-love-affirmations.html