Thank you for sharing the news that you found out your son is alive. I too want to say that knowing the truth can become a burden under some circumstances. I support you doing whatever you feel is right in terms of notifying his family . My own experience has been different. When I did not know where he was, it was intolerable. All sorts of images in my head. When my son committed suicide, I then knew where he was. The pain is still intolerable but it's a different kind of pain. If your son's wife and son are going through this kind of hell on earth, as you have just gone through, not knowing if he was alive or dead, I wonder if knowing the truth would help them move on. What's that old saying? "The devil you know is better than the devil you don't know. "