@ihtak46 Kathi this is a lovely photo of you and your daughter (what is her name?) Was this pic taken on your recent girls trip before she passed so suddenly? I'm sorry you turned to us but feel no one is replying. I'd like to help yobu with that if I can. PLEASE be assured that you are getting responses to your postings.Will you please give me some information--how are you accessing Connect? Via email or going to the Mayo Clinic Connect web site? How this works in a nutshell is you post in one of the groups LOSS & GRIEF etc. Usually the next day but sometimes minutes later someone responds. You then get notification in your email or just a notification on Connect at the bell up at the top. This format is different than some message boards I have participated in where there seems to always be someone online--the type when you see the group, join, ask a question/post feelings and someone instantly responds.Does that make sense?
Well it sure sounds like you had a rough day yesterday. I can remember feeling like that when my mom died. My head hurt, my eyes hurt from constant sobbing. I was so glad when sleep finally overtook my weary body and mind. My husband had to step in and take me to the doctor to get a mild sedative because I just could not function. My mom and I were so close.Her death was totally unexpected. She died of septicemia. She was found on the floor of her home after falling three days earlier. Her beloved Golden Retriever was right by her side. I lived in Virginia, she lived in NJ. I went and took the dog home with me, visited her in the hospital where she now was in stable condition. My mom thought she knew everything when it came to health and medicine. Drove me crazy. Years earlier she was diagnosed and sucessfully treated from colon cancer, the very thing my father died of at the age of 51. This time mom wasn't feeling well and thought for sure her colon cancer had returned. She would not go to the doctor due to her fear. Well in the hospital this time it was discovered she had a severe UTI. The hospital doctors treated her with everything they could but she wold not survive. She passed away November 17 2002 @ 4 am. You just never know. The meds helped and I began therapy with a terrific counselor.

Kathi I saw this on the Compassionate Friends web site https://www.compassionatefriends.org/find-support/to-the-newly-bereaved/
"The Compassionate Friends also hosts the Worldwide Candle Lighting the second Sunday in December, officially at 7 p.m. local time around the globe, creating a wave of light in memory of all children who have gone too soon." I think that would a lovely way to honor your daughter and all that she meant to the people in her life. What do you think? Do you think seeing a physician and a counselor would be something you could do? How is your husband holding up?
Wishing you peace.
Jen, Volunteer Mentor