@ihtak46- I am so so sorry that I missed your posts. I have not seen them. I'm mainly on the Lung Cancer group.
I send my sincere condolences to you and your husband. I can hear your pain and it hurts horribly, I know. My twin sister's daughter lived with us and after she moved out to her own apartment someone torched it and she died. Her body was scorched so badly that even her father couldn't identify it. My husband had to identify her.
Although I have a son she was my daughter too and we spent a lot of time together. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't mourn her. She's been gone since 1995.
Mourning takes a long long time. And the depth of your grief is a testament to how much love you shared with her. This love will never go away but you will grow more use to missing her. By this I mean the feeling of missing will be more familiar, less poignant with it's sharpness, hence less fearful and you will tolerate it better.
You have to give yourself time to come to terms with this and only time will give you this, only time. I can't tell you what the definition of coming to terms with will mean to you but for me it was accepting the loss of her presence, accepting that she isn't the young girl in the crowd, accepting that I won't hear her voice or hear her laugh.
You are also still in shock so you have to allow your grief to get past this, and again it's just time. Time will soften the shock into acceptance- not the loss of love. All of your feelings right now are raw but have a purpose and if you can, feel everyone of them. Cry when you have to rant, yell, scream and get angry! Get very, very angry. You have that right.
Are either of you or your husband getting any grief counseling?

Jump to this post