Hi @kimspr3 Your post brought a flood of memories back to me. First how disease can take control of a person and change them in ways we wish they never did. When my wife was in a coma her sister told our daughter and I we should 'just let her die' and not do emergency surgery. We did anyway and some years later my wife overheard me telling that to our son on the phone and things with her sister never healed.

The most memories, though, came back regarding my wife's funeral. She was largely abandoned by family and friends during her years of illness. My side of the family thought she was 'faking it' and I was exaggerating her condition 'for sympathy'. They never changed that view. Friends and other family simply chose to ignore her while she was fighting her war. Late in her illness my wife decided to design her own Celebration of Life. She asked me to write it all down and share it with our children so they knew what she wanted. Then she asked me to get a second sheet of paper to write down the people I was to invite to her Celebration. I said 'honey, folks usually don't invite people to a service, anyone who wants to just shows up.' She said 'not mine! I do not want anyone in our home blowing smoke up your a*s about how much they cared about me when I was sick, after I am dead.' She gave me her list. Her notice said 'a service will follow' and we did that service private for those invited only. My wife knew well that would happen, too! The first person I heard from was a sister who blasted me about not being there saying 'well, we wanted to be there to show you how much we cared'.

14 years too late!

Thanks for sharing and letting me get this off my chest -- I feel better already! These things I have come to accept, but accepting never means they didn't hurt.

Strength, courage, and peace!

PS Thanks for the laugh --- and I'll add 'I tawt I taw a puddy tat!'