Hello,
I'm new to this part of the support site. I am a breast cancer survivor and share regularly on that topic. In addition, my husband was diagnosed about 18 months ago with a terminal 'cancer of unknown primary' (a cancer they can't identify by type). I still work and need to and also care for my husband and help with his 92 year old mother and my 82 year old mother. I am overwhelmed trying to manage all of that, still pay the bills, do the housekeeping, errands, and everything else. It's all on my shoulders and although I have had a great deal of stress and responsibility for many years.....now it seems I have to do 'everything'.
I guess I have two big worries with this. Of course I hate to see my husband suffering and I love my family but I have absolutely no free time and extreme stress working 2 part time jobs which don't provide quite enough income. We're not destitute (thankfully) but we're on the edge of losing all we've worked for all these years each day. I know that this time is precious with my husband and I really do try to stay positive but I'm so tired and I have to spend most of my time just trying to keep things moving along and our heads above water. Frankly, I get pretty cranky and resentful and try to keep it to myself but I'm sure it's obvious to everyone around me who knows me well. I also know from past caretaking experiences I've had (my sister, my Dad, a good friend) over the past 10 years, that I will regret and feel sad and remorseful about every angry and selfish thought I'm having.
I can't afford therapy nor can I afford the time it would take away from my duties and responsibilities. I also know I'm supposed to keep myself well so I can care for everyone I love......it's just easier to say, 'take a walk', 'get someone else to come in and help'......none of it seems actually do-able.
Thoughts, suggestions, fellow whiners?
Hugs..........

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