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Caregiving: I’m frustrated and exhausted.
Caregivers | Last Active: Mar 27, 2022 | Replies (223)Comment receiving replies
I too said I would never put my husband in a care center, but the time came when I could no longer ensure his safety or mine by keeping him at home. Sometimes life just doesn't turn out the way you have planned and you need to take care of yourself. I know he is getting better care than I could possible give him at home and since he needs skilled care the care center is the best place for him. I visit at least every other day since it is 45 miles from our home and I am 84 years old. I will as long a I can still drive. Then we will have to make other arrangements if he is still living. He is 89 and health is pretty good except for Alzheimer's disease and vascular dementia so he can only feed himself. Eats good and is cheerful when awake which is less and less all the time.
Replies to "I too said I would never put my husband in a care center, but the time..."
You are so right, @rmftucker My wife and I learned way to soon to never say never when it comes to what to expect from chronic illnesses. When she was first diagnosed she would often say 'honey, don't ever let me _____ (fill in the blank)' and I'd say 'I won't, sweetheart.' We burned through those so fast our heads swam. That resulted in some hefty guilt on my part until I learned to just say 'I promise I'll try.' In the later stages of her life I was doing things for her we never, ever imagined, but had to do. It was tough, humiliating for her, but as much as she hated it, we had no alternative but to do those things.
For sure there is no fairness in chronic illness.
Safe travels!
yes we had to put my father in a secure home he had dementia and get very aggressive. but mentally my mom is good. so i keep praying it will continue that way and she can continue to stay home till the god lord decides to come get her. im glad your husband is in a good place and getting good care some places are not so good. it sounds like he is doing well where he is thats a blessing.
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Yes, it makes it all especially hard when we get older and don't have an acceptable facility nearby. We have a good SNF in our local hospital which is only about 5 mins. away but costs $15,000/MONTH! At least it wouldn't be long before we'd qualify for Medicaid as well as free care in a nice, new VA home about 1 1/2 hrs. away including mt. driving in the winter.:( Trusting God to guide us as we plan. My husband in on the waiting list in both facilities but I'm hoping that won't be necessary for 1-2 yrs,