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Caregiving: I’m frustrated and exhausted.
Caregivers | Last Active: Mar 27, 2022 | Replies (223)Comment receiving replies
First of all, thank you for the support and encouragement. Yesterday was a really hard day and I was absolutely exhausted. I've read the comments about hospice. When I feel along with his doctor input hospice will certainly be a major consideration. I just don't think we're there yet. The reason I'm unable to vent to my children is because they really want me looking for a care facility and again I'm not ready for that. I worked as a nurse for 37 years and feel I'm providing him with better care here at home. Some occasional in home help will be my next step. He's resistant to that idea but for my health I need to. I feel stress and anxiety are a big factor in cancer diagnosis and progression. I'm fearful of breast cancer recurrence if I don't get my emotional health back in check. Our oldest daughter died of lymphoma 6 years ago and she lived an environment of unrelenting stress and feel the reccurance she suffered 5 years after her original diagnosis played a part. Today is a better day, he noticed some flowers I arranged and said they where so pretty. The little things mean a lot.
Replies to "First of all, thank you for the support and encouragement. Yesterday was a really hard day..."
@dem2301 I’m sorry for the extremely difficult times you are having. You are a nurse, but even nurses work shifts, not 24 hours! Yes, he probably is getting excellent care, but the cost to you may just be too much. Talk with your local hospice and/or nursing homes. They may offer respite care or short term care. Respite care is usually a weekend or while caregiver is out of town. See what they can offer. And, in home help would be a wonderful next step. The helper could manage your husband 1-3 times a week while you get a much needed nap.
Have you ever talked with your husband about an assisted living/nursing home? Would he be able to have the conversation? Maybe he would feel better knowing that your not wearing yourself out. Maybe he, too, needs friends and activities. You don’t need to do it all! The reply from @vickys was very helpful. Keep in touch because we worry about you
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Our in home care (one session for 4 hours a week, increasing to 2 times a week this week!) was a long sell...I started by getting my husband to agree to the idea in concept for down the road, then he and I interviewed two good firms in our home for potential use down the road, then signed a contract for use down the road, then tried a one 4 hour session to see how he liked it, for use again later down the road. He and the home health aide went to a movie, and he had such a good time we started the weekly sessions right away. He was glad for me and for himself and for the home health aide.