thanks all, thanks lioness... just had a mini melt down..i think its when i go downstairs and realize i dont hve the will or strength to make meals, lunch and husband been shopping and blinking tooth area hurts and sore throat and all then childish silly crying, i just need to get a grip .... hope i don't turn into a miserable sob like that doctor! its odd its not really mood swings but physical pain affecting mood maybe... and you cope alone bless you. i always try and have a shower every day and almost do but its been a long road lioness and just not bouncing back like i used to; i can still be funny or silly typing, or emailing someone...sometimes een on th ephone . its a skill/trick albeit small. yes listen to tapes, dont do much tapping.... its odd but the odd hours and usually its in evening, not sure why, but i start to feel peace and it is lovely, more than money... but then dont know what next day will be like. my husband is a quiet plain man and doesnt "get into it" and lets face it, keeps quiet about his ailments, has a cigarette and glass of wine but i cant do that. well, chalk this day up to another ding-dong=bell. june is in the well, and maybe as the day goes by this sadness will go take a hike. thanks for the deep breathing tips etc., but you know sometimes its more like crawl up in a ball for me... am sureits not easy for you .... and cant wait to hear about the new smile! j.