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Caregivers | Last Active: Oct 22, 2019 | Replies (53)

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@kimspr3

HELLO SCOTT, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW KIND WORDS HELPED. MY HUSBAND HAD A MELT DOWN LAST NIGHT SAID SOME PRETTY CRUEL THINGS. IT CAME FROM HIS HEART. I HAD BAD THOUGHTS AFTER. HE APOLOGIZED BUT THE WORDS WERE SAID. HE WORKS TAKES OFF TO TAKE ME TO DRS. HE CAN'T RETIRE BECAUSE OF SOMETHING HE DID. I THREW THAT IN HIS FACE! I TRY TO MAKE THINGS EAISER FOR HIM BECAUSE I KNOW HOW HARD IT IS. SEND HIM TEXTS SHOWING HOW MUCH HE IS APPRECIATED. AS YOU KNOW WHEN THERE IS NO FAMILY, LOSS OF FRIENDS BOY IT'S SO HARD. I'M SORRY FOR YOUR LOSS. I HAVE A FRIEND WHO HAD CANCER SHE LOST MANY "FRIENDS" WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOME PEOPLE? SHE'S FINE! HAVE A GOOD DAY!!!!

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Replies to "HELLO SCOTT, YOU DON'T KNOW HOW KIND WORDS HELPED. MY HUSBAND HAD A MELT DOWN LAST..."

Sorry to read you had another tough night. They are tough enough without added difficulties.

When our nerves are frayed, our bodies aching, and our reserves on zero, it is often impossible to keep a clear head. I know there were occassions I lashed out at something, which made my wife sad, and I regret it to this day. All we can do is apologize and try and teach our tongue better manners 🙂 Doen't always work though. Unfortunately I know!

The vast majority of our friends, many of well over 40 years, all took a powder when my wife got her diagnosis. Husbands and wives both. I chalk it up to them perhaps being too uncomfortable to manage a relationship with a 'changed' person. Perhaps it is that they cannot confront the thought, even second hand, of their own mortality. Maybe it is simply fear. I do know my wife's long time friend confided in me she 'couldn't be with someone 'crazy'.

A friend of my daughter's told her 'you will shocked by those who abandon you in your time of need, and you will be equally shocked by who it is that sticks by your side.' It was very true. In our case my wife's best freind from school days reappeared and with me it was an ex-colleague from many states away. One thing I learned...small things make a HUGE difference during illnesses!

I like your idea of the texts alot! Nice touch!

I hope the sun is shining wherever you are today!