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Scott, Volunteer Mentor (@IndianaScott)

Triggers for caregivers

Caregivers | Last Active: Oct 22, 2019 | Replies (53)

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@rmftucker

Scott, the "trigger" you mentioned hit home as I used that response at a meeting recently where a grief counselor was explaining her role to a church group. I mentioned learning of "anticipatory grief" in relation to dementia and incurable diseases and explained how I dealt with "triggers". Since my husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's and vascular dementia Spring, 2014, Spring is particularly difficult. He was admitted to a care center two years ago May 17. Every day I remember the day I took him to a Senior Behavioral Unit for evaluation and tenth long wait until July until we found placement for him.

Tears come even as I'm writing this. Just one day at a time. After 64 years of marriage being apart is hard. Even when he was an over-the-road. we talked every day. Now his speech is so garbled, I often can't understand him.

I lost a daughter to suicide after suffering postpartum depression after the birth of both of her children. This was 43 years ago and little was known of the condition and even less on how to treat it. I do pretty well until spring of each year when her birthday in March occurs and in August the month when she died just three days before the 3rd birthday of her daughter. August is very hard and I have learned to just take it as it comes and rejoice in the delight of my granddaughter and grandson. We move on day by day. Friends are so important and I lean on them frequently. They are understanding.

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Replies to "Scott, the "trigger" you mentioned hit home as I used that response at a meeting recently..."

Good morning @rmftucker I appreciate your sharing your experiences! It helps me know I am not alone in the feelings and struggles I have.

I agree with the importance of having someone who understands! So many around me have the 'get over it' attitude that finding one who is willing to talk and listen about it is golden! We moved around a great deal so those who understand tend to be electronically close — thanks to the internet! I still enjoy writing letters, but it sure is nice to be able to e-connect when the times are extra challenging!

I wish you a sunny spring!