@stsopoci I liked your post. You are not a Bone Head. Life is the pits sometimes, but we have to think positive, which is hard sometimes when we get depressed. I am also on Lexapro 20mg., Lamictal, which is also used for seizures, but is a mood elevator and Klonipin 1 mg 2 to 3 times a day. I have depression and anxiety complex. We live in Iowa, but when I lived in Seattle area and San Diego, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2. Once I got moved back to my home state of Iowa the psychiatrist said I was not bipolar 2. Like you my mom was very mentally ill. Sometimes she was fine and other times she had to be hospitalized and took her life at age 69. I am 68. Mental Illness is very inherited. It runs through most of my family. My son is bipolar 1 and a professor, but cannot teach because of it. His wife is also a professor and they live in NY and she teaches and does research at Columbia U. I was concerned about them when the Covid-19 was running rapid in NY. Liz got her tenor at Duke University. They have a lovely 8 year old daughter. The problem is we have no contact with them. With Ryan being bipolar 1 and his dad was hard on both our children (verbally abusive) and with his wife controlling him (our son) I feel that's why we have no contact. The other grandmother keeps us somewhat up to date and sends pictures of Marlowe. I haven't seen since she was 3, but do skype with her when shes at her grandmother's. I haven't skyped with her since New Year's and her grandmother sent us a video. It's sad, but I don't let me get me down, well to be honest maybe every once in a while. But all I can do is pray.
I am very proud of you that you got off alcohol and got your life into a positive attitude. Bless your heart. Keep up that positive attitude. I'm going into surgery at Mayo Clinic Rochester on June 9th and I'm thinking positive. I have to have a fusion from T-10 to my pelvis. But I keep positive and pray. I'm in quite a bit of pain, but know that will soon be gone. I can't take any pain pillsl, because the surgeon had me get off of them and told me what he gave me for the surgery would not work as well if I was on any pain pills. Gee, I made this long. Take care of yourself and think of 3 good things everyday.