How wonderful, @aliali, that you are finding so much support from the Connect Community! I'm glad that you are with us.
Please remember that 18 days is not all that long of a time for a significant loss such as a parent. What are you doing now to keep active?
Here is a quote from Albert Einstein: "Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving." What movement (physical, emotional or spiritual) can you take today and tomorrow, @aliali?