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tricks (@tricks)

I'm evidently very treatment resistant, any hope?

Mental Health | Last Active: May 24, 2019 | Replies (22)

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I am 52 years old and have complex P.T.S.D. and childhood trauma and have been told i have bipolar by some and that i don’t by others. I was in the military and have gotten my 4 year degree. i wanted to strive to be anything but what my family was and some still are. but that being said i lost medication that did work due to my husband losing his job and have been on a roller coaster of generics to find what works. apparently i am in the class of people that generics throw them all over the place mentally. so i just winged off everything and yes it can be done slow process but i was frustrated and angry from growing up with both to now having my world turned upside down again. i am tired warn out and have had all i can take of life and myself at times. but i have experienced being off and trying other alternative means from herbs to amino acids you name it i tried it. but i know i need to be on something because nothing i have done works without its own set of long term problems. so i am bound and determined to make this square peg in my life fit this round hole. I have been through mental heal this past year and with my family that’s still living. i cry most of the time grieving what i will never experience with a mother or father on a love, caring compassion supported level and i will probably grieve it till i die. but i’ll be &#$’l if they are going to win. I have an inner light that guides me and keeps me fighting to the bitter end whenever that may be. but i have lost pretty much everything u cannot buy, and some that can be bought, but i persevere. i will find what works for me even if it isn’t perfect because i’m worth it. Even though i was brought up thinking i wasn’t, i hope this helps in some way, because i totally get what you are saying i have been through med hell. the thing is you are on here talking and sharing and people are listening and replying that’s freaking awesome in itself that you are worth listening too. you matter, people love you in your family. i hope something i have shared helps you.

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Replies to "I am 52 years old and have complex P.T.S.D. and childhood trauma and have been told..."

@scrollsbc Good morning and welcome to Mayo Clinic Connect. We're glad you found us. First off, thank you for your service. Your response is a breath of fresh air, to hear how you continue to overcome your past. We each have our own journey, and finding just the right combination to winning can be tiring, and difficult. Like you said, "don't give up". I am encouraged to hear your positivity, as it really hits home for me personally this morning. You are absolutely right, we are worth it, and we matter! Here's a cup of coffee/tea/hot chocolate raised in toast to all of us on this incredible journey, grieving what cannot be replaced but determined to make our lives the best we can.