@merpreb When I feel anxiety I feel tense throughout my whole body and can't stop talking. My thoughts obsess on whatever I'm feeling anxious about.
By the end of 1999 I'd been on every antidepressant available and had had 9 CSTs (I would never recommend them) in three weeks which did no good. My swings were going lower and lasting longer. I called Research Hospital who put me in touch with a doctor that put me on an MAOI. It doesn't make me happy but keeps me pretty level. I've only had one major dip since then.
This dip isn't the lowest I've been but I'm down there far enough that I'm not able to follow through on a couple things I'd normally be happy/excited about. I've been this way for a couple weeks. If I do have a bad day recently it's usually just a day. It's been so long since I've been in this place (because of the meds) I've forgotten whether carrying this weight around is part of it or just a new piece of it. I thought if anyone else felt this without the anxiety it would mean I'd just forgotten.