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bradmm (@bradmm)

Long-term caregiving: need a place to vent

Caregivers | Last Active: Mar 26, 2019 | Replies (13)

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@rmftucker

I like the new title as some of us have years of caregiving ahead even though not physical cares. My husband has been in a care center for 2 years the middle of May. I no longer have do the physical caregiving, but emotionally I still need some bolstering at times. It is so hard to see a formerly very physically active person no longer able to do anything accept feed himself. And even then most of it lands on the bib or his lap. He is so independent that he resents any suggestion that anyone help him. I was there to visit today and the director followed me into the building saying she had just returned Des Moines and they were now limiting visiting to only essential visits since they have a flu patient at the home. She did let me in to see him for a few minutes. Last year it started like this and they were under quarantine for a total of about 3 weeks before we were able to visit. His 89th birthday is next Sunday and we were planning a family gathering with cake and ice cream but I guess that is off as of now. The director suggested I call before trying to visit again. It is 45 miles from our home, so I will surely do that. just one day at a time.

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Replies to "I like the new title as some of us have years of caregiving ahead even though..."

@rmftucker ‘one day at a time’ says it perfectly! There were stretches of caregiving when I couldn’t even think about more than doing it again tomorrow, let alone weeks, months, etc. This was especially true during the years my wife could no longer communicate her needs to me.

I hope the flu leaves your husband’s facility very quickly! Please tell him Happy Birthday from a long distance friend.

Strength, courage, and peace!

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