@sandymom. When you reply to anyone please put the @before name as we know who you are replying to

@sandymom....Oh, I know what you mean. Not a group kinda girl here, either. Church activities, like organizing and cooking for dinners, potlucks just kinda fell on to me. I didn't volunteer, more like recruited. But, I did find pleasure and satisfaction in doing that. Community activities were for others. Had my own little community right at home. Never felt the draw to such things. Was all I could do to cook, clean, and homeschool for the 8 of us. And then.....the grandkids came, lol. Everyday was romper room. People in one door, out the other. Lambing season, shearing time, butcher time, put the garden in, can the salsa, bake the bread, paint and refinish the furniture. Now I find myself in an entirely different situation. Just hubby and I, hundreds of miles removed from my loves. Caring for my elderly father in his last years. It's exactly where I should be, no doubt, but alien nonetheless. So, yes, for me a change in direction. Country clubs? What are those. Only country club I knew was on our own acres, and within our own home. Exercise classes? Hubby cut a path around the property and I ran it, until I couldnt. Elliptical and treadmill in basement. That was my gym.

Sounds like you've done so much giving, you may have to learn how to take care of yourself. Though, I must say, in giving my time and energy, I was able to distract myself from myself, which had its own value. Your husband is blessed to have you by his side. God bless your warm and kind heart. You say you raised your husband. I married a couple weeks after turning 19, a man 11 years older, Vietnam vet, Marine through and through. I do believe he raised me. Taught me so much, since I had so little life experience.

I've never participated in support groups of any type. Just so many family members who loved me, never felt the need. But they do serve a purpose, and have been helpful to many. Am so sorry you feel lost and I truly empathize with your pain. Pain, and disability are my two daily companions. Not very fond of either, but am learning to respect them and deal with them. Not well, mind you, but it's a work in process.