Santolina, I am so sorry that you have had this experience, no therapeutic benefit from antidepressants, and complications of work, diet, etc. Life is tough and when depression grabs a hold, tougher still. Many people who haven't had this experience, really do not understand. Try hard as you can to validate yourself, not to think harshly of yourself, and cut yourself some slack. I remember an interview of the woman who played Wonder Woman on television. She had that tiny waistline. She said her agent made her jump on a trampoline for ten minutes for every bite of a brownie she ate. Physical activity MAY help depression, will work out calories. I find that a very pleasing snack, to be any kind of roasted nut, if you can have them. Always reach out to support networks, just being taken seriously can help to staunch the pain of depression... there are a lot of us out here. Right now i would love a fresh bag of potato chips, that I don't currently own. Thank goodness! My heart to you.