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~ Depressed and scared, not making it financially ~
Mental Health | Last Active: Mar 19, 2022 | Replies (428)Comment receiving replies
Hi marjou .... Fall and Winter are always difficult for me .... this sounds pretty morbid but I call Fall-death, and Winter is the tomb. I know how morbid that is but it's how I've felt for years. My x-husband only lives 25 min. from me and now has a girlfriend. That is really painful, even though we're divorced. I didn't ask for alimony because I had a large inheritance at the time, but, got caught up in a ponzi scheme and now I really have a tight budget. If it weren't for my son helping me out, I wouldn't make it. I hate the thought of living like this the rest of my life, but it is what it is. I'm sick of people saying "volunteer" ..... I just don't have the energy to do anything, some days even get out of bed. If it weren't for my dog I probably wouldn't. I don't have any friends down here except a lady at church, but she's very private and "stiff" if you know what I mean. My therapist I went to for 14 years is 3-1/2 hrs. away and busy, busy, busy, so I doubt he has much time for old clients. I wrote for an appt. and he didn't have any opening til Feb. I know the holidays are a busy time for them. I see my Psychiatrist every 4 months for about 10-15 min. which doesn't give much time to talk. Oh how I wish I had never moved down to this awful place. abby
Replies to "Hi marjou .... Fall and Winter are always difficult for me .... this sounds pretty morbid..."
@amberpep Fall and winter can be very difficult. The doctor suggested that I use like therapy. There are many different “tools” but he suggested a LiteBook. It’s about the size of a paperback book and I use it for about 30 minutes a day. SO much better than increasing my medication! It works well. Becky
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I can't thank you all enough for sharing your struggles and hearts with me. Knowing I'm not alone in these feelings makes them so much more bearable. Sometimes I think I believe I'm the only one going through this. Yes, I did get a note back from my X about the book .... it was actually very gentle (I think he knows I'm falling apart) and he told me he'd just like to have a good, friendly, relationship with me. With a clearer thinking mind this morning, I realize just how much this Bipolar 2 affects me. When I see my Psychiatrist I'm going to talk to him about it. Maybe a change in meds. is necessary. The coming on of winter doesn't help either .... my most dreaded season.
I realize that every morning it's hard to get out of bed, and it's not because I'm tired ..... I just don't want to face another day. But, when you have pets, you have to get up ..... that's a good thing......it pushes me to get up and get moving.
One thing my X did tell me was that there apparently is a group in the area called "People meeting People" which is for new residents. I'm going to find out about that and if it sounds like me, I'm going to give it a try.
I think a change in churches is in order too, but I won't go into all that.
I just want to thank you all for your help. Just knowing you all are there, and I have a place to go when those black times come, is a real comfort to me.
abby